


Listen Before You Go

by LileannayWrites



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Action, Action/Adventure, Angst, Awkward Flirting, F/M, Fluff, Hisoka's Bungee Gum Nen Ability (Hunter X Hunter), How Do I Tag, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Loneliness, Nen (Hunter X Hunter), Questions, Romance, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:20:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 41,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25705018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LileannayWrites/pseuds/LileannayWrites
Summary: Only one thing has to happen to start a chain of problems.
Relationships: Hisoka (Hunter x Hunter)/Original Female Character(s), Hisoka (Hunter x Hunter)/Reader, Illumi Zoldyck/Original Female Character(s), Illumi Zoldyck/Reader, Kuroro Lucifer | Chrollo Lucifer/Original Character(s), Kuroro Lucifer | Chrollo Lucifer/Reader
Comments: 91
Kudos: 256





	1. Something has to happen to start a problem

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfic started off as a joke between a group of friends and I.
> 
> Looks like I'm in it for the long haul now.
> 
> I had a lot of friends contribute to making this fanfic with me, and I can't thank them enough.
> 
> So I hope whoever sees this, enjoys it.

**THIRTY DAYS LEFT UNTIL THE 287TH HUNTER EXAM**

I hear them the second I step into the doorway. I see pieces of clothing strewn across the wooden floor leading up to my shared bedroom and some unfinished plates of dinner sitting at the table. In the middle of the table is a small assorted bouquet of white and red roses. Candles are placed on either side of the bouquet, nearly melted to its base. The sounds echoing off the walls give me the full confirmation I need. My stomach twists and turns. Pressure builds up inside my chest. I should’ve known this was going to happen today. 

From getting fired from my day job to getting water splashed all over me by some kids, I should’ve predicted that there would be a cherry on top of the cake. Something to pull this present of a day all together.

Instead of closing the door behind me, I quietly walk around the house to gather some of my things. Closing the door would only alert them of my presence. The last thing I want right now is to see Hisoka’s mid-sex hair and all the lipstick stains littered all over his neck. Fortunately for me, Hisoka is never able to tell whenever I arrive home. I’m always quiet and careful just in case he’s asleep.

He had always been out or sleeping by the time I would arrive home. In the first few months of our relationship, I couldn’t care less about his whereabouts. It was his own business and he would never be gone longer than a day or two. Besides, I had been too busy with certain quotas that needed to be reached at my day job along with my night job.

However recently, coming home to an empty room started to give me an uncomfortable feeling. 

I try my best to ignore the suggestive screams bouncing off the walls. I try even harder to ignore the sounds I can audibly hear falling from my partner’s mouth. After gathering my bearings, I look around the home I once shared with Hisoka, and walk out the door into the cold of night.

As I close the door, I begin to feel pressure build behind my eyes. Drops of water are appearing on the ground under me. Is it raining? Wait, no, this isn’t rain. My eyes are getting puffy, my cheeks are wet, my vision is slowly becoming blurry. This sensation is… uncomfortable. I swipe my tongue over my lips where some of the tears have fallen. Salty. 

I laugh bitterly at the situation I’m in. I guess today is a day of firsts. It’s my first time getting fired, my first time being caught off guard by kids, my first time being cheated on, and my first time crying in a long time. If Hisoka saw me now, what would he think? He would definitely rethink his attraction to me.

Hisoka is attracted to two things: power and people with high potential. I knew what drew him to be interested in me, but I never questioned him on it. He had approached me after I’d won a fight on the 200th floor of Heaven’s Arena without moving from my place on the stone, only lifting my hand slightly to flick my fingers. Naturally, he questioned me on how I’d won the fight without getting physical.

Against my better judgment, I had said, “Why don’t you find out for yourself?”

That night, we both signed up to battle against each other the very next day. Throughout our battle, Hisoka used many sexual innuendos and had constantly flirted with me. I was caught off-guard but I, to the surprise of many, still won. Even so, it took a lot longer than I had initially thought it would take.

But then, after that fight, I wasn’t able to get the Magician out of my life or my mind.

I really do wonder what he would think of me now, hurt and crying over a simple heartbreak.

After I put some distance between myself and my old home, I pull out my phone and scroll through my list of contacts until I reach the contact of a certain friend of mine. I quickly dial the number and wait for them to answer.

_ “Yes, Cesa?”  _

“Machi, do you think I could stay with you for a little bit?”

_ “He finally fucked up, right?”  _

I give out a sigh. So does Machi.

_ “How long will it take you to get here?” _

I scroll through a list of flights before answering the woman with “A few days.” 

_ “I’ll be waiting.” _ Is the last thing she says to me before hanging up. 

My relationship with Hisoka had been based on constant duels and fights but that didn’t mean I didn’t care or fall in love with him. His constant flirting and charm had pulled me in after a few months of knowing him. He loved attempting to provoke me in any way possible. I had endless amounts of patience and self-control, but for some reason, Hisoka was always able to get under my nerves. 

That itself was strangely enough for my heart to flutter whenever I saw the perverted magician.

Even though our relationship had a strange base, we still had our moments where we would just cuddle together and enjoy each other’s company. There were countless times where we would just chat together and have a good laugh. 

Despite having an established relationship with Hisoka, I still questioned whether or not he truly reciprocated those feelings at all. Even now, I question his motives for allowing us to call each other lovers.

After a couple of minutes of self-pity, I wave off my thoughts and begin walking towards the airport. Finding somewhere to stay for the night would be the better choice, but I need fresh air and time to clear my mind. I absolutely adore late-night walks. Maybe I could uplift my mood a little with this. 

Thirty minutes into my walk, I feel a familiar presence close behind me.

“What do you want Illumi?” I turn around and face the figure, “Hisoka didn’t ask you to find me, did he?”

“I looked for you on my own accord, thank you very much.” The assassin retorts. 

“Why? Is there a job you need help on?”

“Cesa, I would’ve sent you a code if that was the case.” He lowers his head. “I still feel bad that you’re unable to do fieldwork.”

“Don’t worry about it. I should be able to return soon. Besides, gathering intel about the targets is actually interesting and fun.” I tilt my head to the right, “But why were you looking for me if it wasn’t for work?”

“You wound me.” His dull expression says otherwise. “We’re friends, aren’t we?” Illumi looks straight into my eyes, “I’m here because you’re leaving Cesa, aren’t you?”

A small chuckle makes its way past my lips, “Is it that obvious?”

“Painfully.” The man answers. “You don’t have to tell me why. It’ll be easier to lie to Hisoka that way. Are you going to ‘hide’ from him?”

I smile. Years of working together during jobs built up the respect I have for Illumi. Those many years also allowed us to make a tight bond and friendship with one another. He brought me up from my life in the squatters to a life in lavish danger. He gave me a family and taught me more than I could ever want. He gave me the ability to build up the strength I have today.

People think that assassins don’t normally work together, but Illumi and I are an exception to this. I grew up having to steal, torture, and murder others in order to survive. When I met Illumi, we were both around twelve years old. Little old me attempted to steal from him. I obviously didn’t succeed in stealing from him, but in my attempt, the boy had seen some kind of hidden potential in me. 

After my failed attempt of stealing from him, he said, “Meet me in the forest clearing near the Zoldyck family’s gate on Saturday at midnight.”

When I asked him why, all he said was, “Because I’ve never met someone the same age as me that can use Nen so easily.”

That one fateful meeting caused me to find a new family among the Zoldycks and go along the path of having my night job; assassinations with Illumi. I found missions with the man thrilling and exhilarating. I had already killed many before meeting him. It only made sense to me to at least get money from something I find so easy to do. Life is so much more fun when you take risks in my opinion. However, certain circumstances have caused me to be unable to take jobs for the past four months.

“Cesa?” Illumi waves a hand in front of my face.

“Yes, I am going to try ‘hiding’ from him.” I say, putting an emphasis on the word ‘try’.

“What time are you leaving?” 

“Tomorrow morning at five.” 

“Do you need a place to stay for the night?” He asks.

“I’ll be fine,” I answer. 

“I guess I’ll see you in a month at the Hunter Exam?”

“Of course.” I say, turning the other way before being stopped by Illumi grabbing my hand.

“Do you have the bracelet I gave you?” He asks me. My lips turn to a soft smile.

“I never go anywhere without it Illumi.” Illumi releases his grip on my hand, I begin to walk away.

“Always be cautious of your surroundings Cesa.” He calls out. I wave my arm as recognition that I heard him.

Goodbye Hisoka. I hope you’re thoroughly enjoying yourself. I’ll see you at the Hunter Exam. Maybe in that time, I’ll have changed and forgotten you. But then again, does anyone ever forget their first love?

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I watch Cesa continue her walk towards the airport, my phone vibrates in my pocket.

“Illumi, have you heard from my dearest Cesa?” The voice on the other end asks once I answer.

Hisoka. “I was just about to call and ask the same thing. There’s something I need her to research for me.” I pause to look over at Cesa’s fading silhouette. “Has she not arrived home yet?”

There’s some shuffling on the other side of the call, “I don’t see her coat or bag on the coat hanger.”

“Did she say anything about getting home late tonight?”

“She didn’t speak to me at all this morning.” I hear even more shuffling followed by a door being slammed shut. “Good riddance,” the magician mumbles.

Good riddance? Had someone else been there with him? “What was that?”

“Nothing. Just bidding good-bye to a waste of time.” 

Bidding good-bye to a waste of time? Hisoka only calls people unworthy to fight or with low potential wastes of time. It could also be that he’s referring to this “waste of time” as a literal time waster. Something to pass time. Hisoka’s favorite way of wasting time is to use people as his playthings. Using them as in fighting them. However, Cesa has been busy as of late due her switch from fieldwork to digging up intel on targets during her night job.

Did Hisoka get a bit too lonely?

“Hello? Illumi?” 

I snap out of my thoughts. “Sorry, someone was watching me.”

“Ooo! Did you dispose of them?” An annoyed expression glosses over my face. “Sorry, bad question. Of course you did.” 

Of course he would believe if I say something along the lines of killing. “Was there anything else you needed?”

Hisoka hums. “Nope. Nothing else. Just contact me if you hear anything from her.”

“Okay.” The call disconnects.

I’ll tell Cesa about Hisoka’s interest in her whereabouts once I finish this mission. She deserves some time to think and breathe. I should ask her how she plans on hiding from Hisoka during the Hunter Exam. Her aura will surely give her away. If Hisoka finds out who she is, how will she deal with him? How will he deal with her? Hisoka will be more than furious at her, she left without a word after all. Wait… would Hisoka be mad at her? That magician’s personality and actions is anything but predictable.

I sigh. No point in questioning things that have yet to happen. I need to focus on my current target and job. 

A month should be long enough for Cesa to figure out her strategy for the Hunter Exam and how she’s going to avoid Hisoka.

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I walk around the house, trying to find any evidence that maybe Cesa arrived at home and is just playing hide and seek with me. I check the bathroom, the kitchen, the storage room. Many of Cesa’s things throughout the house are missing, but no Cesa in sight. She’s obviously been here. But to the question of when she had been here, I have no answer. 

I reach for the phone in my pocket and dial Cesa’s number. 

_ The number you are trying to reach is not available. _ Is what I hear after the phone rings for a minute. What has happened to my dear Cesa? She would never let herself be caught in a fight for more than a few minutes. She’s nearly impossible to kidnap. What has happened to my dear darling love Cesa?

Did Cesa accidentally come home while I was “playing games” with that waste of time? 

That can’t be the case. Cesa never arrives home from her day job before ten if she doesn’t have any jobs from Illumi. Even with her night job, she never arrives home before three am. Her switch from fieldwork to finding intel on targets assures that as it requires immense amounts of time to find true and confirmed intel on targets.

It just isn’t likely that she would have gotten home while I was easing my need to play around.

But I can’t dismiss the fact that it’s a definite possibility. 

I give out a long sigh. It’s too late in the night to be thinking this much, especially after such a busy day. I’ll ask around about Cesa tomorrow. Maybe she’s just having a sleepover with Leia and it slipped my mind or she forgot to tell me. That’s why some of her things are missing, because she needed them for a sleepover. How could I be so forgetful? She’ll be back by morning. I know she will. She always comes back home to me, even if she’s too busy to care for my needs.

The past few months of our relationship have been… blank, and I may have lost my control over my needs, but I still wait for the moment my dear Cesa comes home to me and joins me in bed to sleep every single day. That’s been the only time I really get to hold and have her close to me. It’s my favourite part of the day.

She always comes home to me.

My darling Cesa would never leave me.

If she did, she knows that I would find her wherever she went. 

After all, I always win at hide and seek.

**_Always._ **

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By the time I get near the airport, time is nearing three am. During my walk, Hisoka had attempted to call me. So much for a calming stroll. I briefly look to my side and watch the oncoming cars come to a stop in front of the airport. There are families being dropped up by taxies, business people rushing into the airport, and couples dropping off their partners, making sure that they give their partner a short kiss as a goodbye.

I feel a slight pressure on my chest area. I shake my head and walk through the entrance. 

After going through all the checkpoints, I look at the time to see that I still have an hour till my flight. Might as well see if there’s a vending machine nearby. I’m starving. Fortunately for me, I see a vending machine out of the corner of my eye. From it, I purchase a bottle of water and a power bar. Then, I head towards my designated gate.

When I arrive at the gate and sit in a seat I would wait in for the next hour, I hear a familiar chime coming from my purse. 

“Illumi?” I answer.

“Hisoka called. He asked me if I knew where you were.”

Hisoka called Illumi? “And?”

I hear movement followed by a series of screams and whines. “I told him that I was looking for you as well.”

“Are you seriously speaking to me about this while on a job?” More screams reach my ears. “What were you asked to do this time? Instantly kill or torture slowly, then kill?”

“Do you really need to ask?” Another scream, some pleading. “You should be able to tell by the screaming.”

“Shouldn’t you keep up your famous emotionless demeanor when on a job? People will think that you’re softening if you don’t.”

Pleading. Screams. I hear some needles being thrown. I also hear “please just kill me” during a short grace period. Oh how I miss seeing Illumi torture others while I stand aside, waiting for the signal for me to deliver the final blow. It’s a nice dynamic we have, Illumi and I. He does all the torturing while I keep watch for any potential distractions. Then when he’s finished, I get to finally finish our target. He knows that I hate torturing, I just don’t see a point in it if they’re still going to die in the end. So, he decided that he’d be in charge of it. He’s better at it anyways.

Eventually, the screams and pleading come to a stop and are replaced by muffled cries. “You’re right. I’ll call you later, after you arrive at your destination. I still need to talk to you about some things.”

“Don’t die.”

Illumi scoffs. “Of course I won’t. Text me when you land.” The call ends.

I look at the time once more. I have time for a short nap. I quickly down my powerbar and half of my water before setting an alarm then drifting off into a dreamless sleep.

I’m pulled out of the darkness by the familiar, ever-annoying (but helpful) sounds of my alarm. I turn it off, stretch my arms, and drink the rest of my water. I scan the area around me. More people have arrived and taken seats around the gate. No nen users are nearby as far as I can sense. The magician is more than likely still sleeping with his arm around his “plaything’s” waist. It’s nearing five in the morning after all.

“We will now be boarding. As usual, first-class will be boarding first.” A woman dressed in blue informs us. A couple of people stand up and board the airship. I chose business class when buying my ticket. I prefer being in-between the three set classes. 

After some wait, all passengers have boarded the airship and are all on our way to Dolle Harbor.

The overall flight was blessed with small amounts of turbulence and only one screaming old lady who complained about the food they were given. I arrive at Dolle Harbor after two days of flying and two stop-overs. It’s around ten-thirty in the morning by the time I get out of security checks. After waiting a while, the time reads eleven when Machi finally arrives to pick me up.

“Machi, long time no see.” 

The woman’s mouth curves into a slight smile. “Likewise Cesa,” she begins to walk towards the parking lot. “Let’s go. Tell me all about what that idiotic clown did to make you finally leave him while I drive.”

I chuckle. “But of course.”

Throughout the first three hours of our car ride to Machi’s, I tell her the series of unfortunate events that had only taken place yesterday. From having to leave my day job to getting soaked by a couple of kids to walking home to hear Hisoka and his plaything, I tell her everything up to the point of me walking out the door.

She doesn’t know about my connections to Illumi and the Zoldyck family. I’d much prefer to keep that a secret so that I can keep myself (and the Zoldycks, but mostly myself) safe from people targeting me. I trust Machi, but not enough to tell her something as big as me being a kind of “adopted daughter” to the Zoldyck family. 

“Has he tried to contact you at all?” Machi finally speaks after staying quiet throughout my whole spiel. 

“Once. He tried to call me while I was walking to the airport.” Pressure sits against my chest. Not again, I don’t need this. “And of course I didn’t answer him.”

“You’re in pain.” 

My head whips in Machi’s direction, “What?”

Machi sighs. “Your eyes and your aura. Pain flashed over your eyes and you know your aura somewhat matches how you feel. You mentioning Hisoka’s call caused it.”

So that’s what the pressure in my chest is. “I need to stop thinking. I can’t ever let my guard go down like that.”

“It’s okay to feel hurt Cesa”

Our car ride is filled with silence. I turn on my phone to see that Illumi had texted me half an hour ago asking if I had landed already.

_ Sorry Illumi. I was busy chatting with Machi. I’ve landed safely and am heading towards Machi’s.  _ I text Illumi.

Not even seconds later, I get a reply.  **_It’s fine. I’m about to finish a job. Text me when you get to Machi’s so I know when to call you._ **

_ Kay. _

I turn off my phone and focus on the scenery outside the car. Twenty more minutes pass until we reach Machi’s home in Dolle Harbor. Her humble abode looks exactly the same as the last time I was here. Two stories, a flat roof, a cedar wood front door, outside walls the color of dead leaves during the fall, and no distinguishing features like fountains or plants in the garden. 

I gather my suitcase and purse from the trunk of Machi’s car and follow her to the front door. Before I step inside, Machi tells me the general direction of where my temporary accommodations will be. 

“I have some work that needs to be done for the Troupe.” She tells me, “Go ahead and settle in, you can order some food later if you get hungry.”

“Thank you again Machi.”

“Of course.” She turns around and closes the door behind her.

I take in my surroundings before I decide to go find my room and text Illumi. Right when I lift my foot, I hear my phone ringing in my purse. It’s Hisoka. I let my phone continue to ring while I walk around the house. 

My phone doesn’t stop ringing for the next two hours.

My lord can’t this man take a hint? But why am I not too surprised? Illumi did tell me that Hisoka was looking for me. I should’ve been a bit smarter and gotten a new phone or changed my number. I’ll ask Machi to take me to the marketplace when she gets back. For now, to stop the constant jingle from playing any longer, I crush my phone into tiny bits. 

I smile. Crushing my phone gives me flashbacks to all the skulls of targets I’ve crushed during jobs. I miss being out on the field. There aren’t many things to do here at Machi’s. The Spider barely has anything she’s truly interested in other than sewing and the Phantom Troupe. I lay down on my bed and slowly feel my eyelids getting heavy. It wouldn’t hurt to take a nap, my sleep on the airship wasn’t the best anyways.

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The sound of small needles being thrown rapidly fills the air. One by one the reinforcements my target had called to protect him gracefully drop dead onto the flawless white carpeting. The room gradually begins to reek of blood.

Off to the corner is where my target quivers alone, eyes filled abundantly with terror.

Time to finish this job.

I walk out of the once guarded mansion of my target who was a man who made an enemy out of an opposing mafia boss. Splashes of blood and piles of bodies litter the hallways as I find my way out to the entrance. I bring out my phone to see if there are any texts from Cesa. All I see are hundreds of messages from Hisoka, asking me if I had seen or heard anything from his old lover. I disregard Hisoka’s frantic messages and inform my employer about my success. I then text Cesa asking her if she has settled at Machi’s yet. 

I wait for a few minutes for answers from my employer and Cesa.

Almost immediately I get a text from my employer expressing his thanks and how he has wired my payment to the specified account. From Cesa, I don’t receive anything. I begin to worry. I scroll through my phone and open a tracking app. When it opens I see a little pinging red dot that is said to be located in a home in Dolle Harbor. 

I give out a  _ very _ small sigh of relief. She got there okay.

She must be napping or can’t be bothered to answer her phone at the moment.

That bracelet comes in very handy when I get separated from Cesa.

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“Cesa, come on Love, answer me!” I yell at the phone placed up against my ear. For the hundredth time today, Cesa doesn’t pick up and I am sent to voicemail. 

What happened to her? I called Leia and Shiro, asking them if Cesa had stayed with them or if they had seen her. Leia told me that she hasn’t seen Cesa since their lunch together a couple days ago while Shiro told me that he hasn’t been able to get a hold of her ever since she got fired yesterday. Why Cesa got fired, Shiro failed to disclose.

Cesa had to have come home yesterday if she got fired. 

But then, she would’ve had to come home a lot earlier than she usually does.

Fuck. I see now. I see what happened. I see exactly what occurred last night before I bid that trash goodbye.

Cesa has an impeccable Zetsu, but most times I’m still able to notice her presence. She may think I don’t know when she arrives home, but I usually do. Last night is an obvious exception. I was too busy focusing on my toy and the beautiful sounds they were making. 

What to do now? What to do now? When will I be able to see Cesa again?

My lips curve into a sinister smile. I nearly forgot that Cesa is planning to join me this year in taking the Hunter Exam. I’ll see her soon. I’ll be able to see her soon and bring her back to me. I’ll be able to tell her it was all just a misunderstanding. How I’ll explain that, I don’t know, but I’ll do whatever it takes to bring my Dear Darling Cesa back to me.

She’s the only person who can defeat and understand me after all. Because of that, I don’t ever wish to lose her. She is the only one I ultimately wish to end up with. My Dear Darling Cesa, I’ll find you soon, I promise. I’ll make things right between us once again.

I’ll see you soon my dear.


	2. Friends and Friends?

**TWENTY-SEVEN DAYS UNTIL THE 287TH HUNTER EXAM**

_Blood splatters everywhere. The body before me twitches a small bit. His bottle of alcohol is lying broken some ways away. I back up from the dirty old man and wait for something else to come out of his mouth that will allow me more anger to be able to slash him some more._

_A couple seconds turns into a couple minutes as I watch the old man sit there, unmoving, eyes still open. He’s still awake, why is he not saying anything? I poke him multiple times._

_“Old man.” I wave my hand in front of his face. “Hello?”_

_He still doesn’t move or get up. He doesn’t look like he’s breathing either. Did I kill him?_

_Did I kill the old man? Did I end his life? That… was a lot easier than I thought it would be. I thought killing would take longer than a few minutes. I was told that it takes_ **_much_ ** _longer than a few minutes to kill someone. How is something that is said to be hard, so easy for me to do?_

_Should I test this? Should I find someone else to test myself on how easy it is to kill? What if it takes longer this time and I get caught? What if I get caught? What will people do if they catch me and find out I killed someone before the one I tried testing on?_

_I need to leave. I need to tell Teacher what I did._

_I need to tell her about my first kill._

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I’m awakened from my slumber by Machi vigorously shaking me, saying, “Cesa? Cesa, wake up.”

I rub my head and shoulders. “What happened?”

“When I got home, you were drenched with sweat and wouldn’t stop thrashing around.” She shakes her head, “I thought you got possessed by a demon.”

I chortle. “Over my dead body.”

When I go to grab my phone, I remember the events before I had fallen asleep. “Machi what time is--” A brand-new phone is placed in my hand. I lift my eyebrow.

“I figured that you would want a new number and phone. I know Hisoka and I know you.” Her eyes turn to the lone window in my room. “And you don’t have to pay me back. I wasn’t able to get to your birthday, remember?”

I smile. “Thanks Machi.”

“Welcome. There’s some food on the counter. I need to head out again. You should go register for the Hunter Exam, registration is here, isn’t it?”

I quickly get on my feet and frantically pull on some socks and shoes. “Thank you Machi! Did you get the hair dye?” 

“We’ll get started once I get back later.”

I didn’t hear anything Machi said as I’m already gone and out the door to find wherever the hell registration for the Hunter Exam is.

A couple hours later, I’m registered, home, and sitting in front of a mirror to figure out which color of hair dye I should use. Machi had apparently bought colors from light pastels to dark blacks. I absentmindedly comb my fingers through the strands of alabaster hair. Bleach is very obviously not needed.

I don’t want to go with a color that will attract attention to me, so pastels and bright colors are out. However, Hisoka will more than likely predict that I will go for darker colors. But, he will know that I know this so he’ll know that I would choose a light color. But then--

I stop and release a very long sigh.

I’ll just choose black. Reliable charcoal black. But how do I wish to do this? Do I want streaks of black, the tips of my hair black, or my whole head? It would be safer to go for the latter. I do love the color of my natural hair, so no dying my roots. At least I don’t have to spend any more time worrying about my hair and more about how I should train for the next month before the Hunter Exam. I should see if there are any gyms nearby later this afternoon. 

I decidedly pull out my phone and begin searching for any nearby gyms. While doing so, I suddenly remember that I have yet to tell Illumi that I have finally arrived safely… three and a half hours ago. I quickly send him a text explaining what happened and why before going back to my original objective. 

As I hunt for an adequate-rated gym nearby I feel a small rumble in my stomach. A sigh escapes me. Guess I should go find someplace to eat. I **_highly_ ** doubt that Machi has anything unexpired in her fridge. I learned that the hard way the last time I was here about a year ago when Hisoka had left me with her while he had taken the Hunter Exam.

Hisoka… I wonder what he’s doing right now? 

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Cheers from the large crowd are all that I hear around me as my opponent collapses onto the ground, dangerously close to having the Grim Reaper bring their soul into the afterlife. What a pity. So much potential gone down the drain. If only they had chosen the right kind of abilities, then they would’ve at least been able to punch me. All this stress from losing my dear Cesa is unfortunately causing me to have to be so brutal and merciless to my opponents. This last opponent didn’t even last ten minutes. 

I inwardly sigh as I exit the prying eyes of the arena audience and enter the tunnel out of the arena. Time to find another willing victim.

“Hisoka.” I hear somewhere beyond the darkness of the tunnel. A familiar aura reaches my senses.

“Illumi,” I give an elegant bow, “to whom do I thank for this visit?”

“No one in particular.” He plays with a needle in his hand before turning his gaze towards me, “When do you wish to leave for the Hunter Exam?”

“How much longer do we have?” 

Ilumi is silent for a bit. “About twenty-seven days.”

There’s not that much time left.

“Let's head out ten days before the deadline.”

“Ten full days?” Illumi's large eyes study me fiercely while he tilts his head to the side.

“It gives us the ability to see what competition will look like this year. There’s also the matter that we still have to fly to Dolle Harbor and register ourselves.”

“Ah, you’re right. I’ll book our tickets for two weeks and three days from now.” Illumi turns and goes ahead into the shadows of the tunnel.

“Illumi.”

He stops and turns his head back. “No, I haven’t heard anything about or from Cesa.”

I narrow my eyes. “Nothing?”

“Nothing.” The assassin looks ahead of him and sighs. “She’ll be at the Hunter Exam Hisoka. We both know this.” 

I hum in reply.

“Hisoka, let’s go. The next fighters will be here soon.”

I follow Illumi out of the tunnel to the lobby just outside the arena. In the crowd I see many potential victims, but none of which catch my interest. Many challengers here at Heaven’s Arena either have too many brawns to be able to have brains, or are unable to use Nen abilities to their fullest potential. 

Many Nen users that I have come across attempt to create abilities that are far from compatible with their Nen type. Many of the ones on the two-hundredth floor try learning manipulator abilities to control things like small tops despite them being an enhancer. To them, it seems like the best way to go. Such a waste of potential, in my opinion. 

I look over at Illumi whose attention is fully on the phone in his hand. His fingers fly fast over to keys to send a quick reply to whomever he received a text from. 

Curiosity fills me when the eyes of the emotionless assassin look almost gentle for a quick moment after placing his phone back into his pocket. 

“Has the inexpressive assassin finally found someone who makes him soft?”

Illumi deadpans. “No. The message was from another employer.”

“If it was an employer, then why did your eyes go soft?”

“It must be your imagination. I’d never let myself go soft.”

“Whatever you say Illumi~.”

Once we arrive at my chambers, Illumi beelines for the laptop and begins hunting for tickets for our flight to Dolle Harbor. Meanwhile, I head to the bathroom to wash off whatever dirt stuck to me throughout my last fight. When I’m finished, I exit the bathroom to find no Illumi and a small note near my laptop. 

**_I bought the tickets. Don’t forget to pay me back._ **

**_\- I.Z._ **

I chuckle. I’ll pay him back after the Hunter Exam.

The gentleness I saw in Illumi’s eyes earlier re-enters my memory. 

How interesting.

Now who could ever make such an indifferent assassin become gentle, even if it was for a moment?

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My long raven hair flutters behind me as I run and jump from rooftop to rooftop. My steps are light and silent. In only a matter of minutes, I reach my temporary home near the tower they call Heaven’s Arena. I slip through the window I had left open for easy access in and out of the house. Once I’m inside, I make my way towards the bathroom to take a brisk, efficient shower. 

After drying off, I head to the small fridge to grab a bottle of water and some leftover take out from today’s lunch. I eat quickly, throw away my containers, and head towards the bedroom. I flop onto the bed and take a look at the text Cesa sent me. 

_Illumi? It’s me, Cesa. For proof and confirmation, you and your family took me in when I was about twelve years old. The number of the first mission you gave me was 17446. There is a fifth child in the Zoldyck family. Her name is Alluka._

_Sorry for not texting you, Hisoka wouldn’t stop calling me and I fell asleep._

_I’m okay. The person I'm staying with got me a new phone and number. I checked it, don’t worry. There isn’t anything that can be used to find me or take any information I place inside._

_Call me if you still need to talk._

_I’ll see you in a couple of weeks._

I lay there, register her new number into my contacts, and contemplate if I should call her now or later. 

I decide that it’s better if I text her instead.

**_Cesa? Do you have time?_ **

About a minute later, I feel my phone vibrate.

 _I have some time_.

**_Is it okay to call?_ **

_Um. Yes._

**_Are you sure?_ **

_Yes, I am sure._ Once I get the confirmation, I dial her number and wait for her to answer.

“Hey.” I hear after four rings.

“That took a lot longer than it usually does. Are you sure you aren’t busy?”

“I’m a little busy, but not busy enough to not be able to talk.” I hear another voice in the background saying something along the lines of, “I’ll set the timer for forty-five minutes. We’ll wash your hair afterwards,” to Cesa. It sounds female. I ponder who it could be. Cesa never said where she was going to be flying to, nevermind who she would stay with.

Furthermore, is she getting her hair dyed? I’m guessing it’s part of her plan to successfully evade Hisoka during the exam. I’m curious as to what color she decided to color it. Cesa’s hair is an enchanting sight. Long and alabaster white, her hair is the first thing I noticed about her when I first met her as children. It caught me by surprise that her hair color matched my father’s. 

But the most identifiable feature of Cesa’s is her eyes. At first glance, you’d think that she’s blind. However, that is far from the case. Cesa’s eyes are bright, striking, and the color of my favourite throwing knife, periwinkle. How she will hide those striking eyes of hers, I’ll ask once she’s done speaking to the other woman.

“Sorry Illumi, I’m getting my hair dyed at the moment.” 

“It’s alright,” Looks like my assumptions are correct, “what color are you getting it dyed?”

I hear a running faucet and a door close. “Black.”

“Black?” I’d at least think she’d go for something more… out there. “Why black?”

“I was having a hard time choosing a color, so I just decided that black will do. It’s not like I’m going to dye my roots. We both know I love the way my natural hair color looks.”

Might as well go for it, “Your hair is the most alluring thing I’ve ever seen.”

There’s silence on the other line until I hear Cesa say. “Are you okay Lumi? You don’t normally give compliments like that.”

At least I tried. “It’s true.”

“You’ve always had an interest in my hair.” There’s a small pause in her words. “But you usually like to focus on my eyes.” 

“Who wouldn’t?”

Before Cesa can answer me, the sound of an alarm goes off. I hear footsteps and the voice of the other woman with Cesa can be heard throughout all the noise being made. 

“Sorry, I have to go. I’ll call you again soon.”

“Okay. Talk to you soon.” I hear a small hum on the other end, followed by silence.

After plugging in my phone to charge, I stare at the dark wood ceiling above me. How long has it been since I finally acknowledged that Cesa sparks something in me that I was taught to push down?

This feeling I get in my chest, the constant thoughts, the want to always be with her and protect her. This is what people call “being in love”. At least I think that’s what this feeling is called. The want to always be near, to always wish to see someone. This is love, right?

I’d met Cesa during a rainy afternoon. I was walking back home from a particularly long job, my hands were covered in blood and I was completely exhausted. I noticed a small girl in a cloak walking towards me, aura filled with bloodlust. Powerful, beautiful bloodlust. She stopped before me, this mysterious girl, pulled out a knife, and before long, five other knives materialized behind me.

She was using nen. She was using nen and very well if I remember correctly.

When she lunged at me, I quickly dodged the knives, grabbed both her arms and held them both together tightly before pulling her towards me. The sensation I had gotten when I felt her bloodlust and the darkness in her eyes was I had never felt before. I still remember how quick my heartbeat had gotten and the feeling of heat rising to my cheeks.

I remember how badly I wanted this powerful girl to be near me at all times. I had never met anyone else who was twelve and could use nen so easily.

Against my better judgement I had told the mysterious girl to meet me near my family’s gate that upcoming Saturday. When I had released her and started walking again, I remembered how her diamond periwinkle eyes had stayed on me until I was out of sight. I especially am able to recall how often thoughts of her plagued my mind until the days reached Saturday.

I had waited for twenty minutes before I felt Cesa’s presence nearing the clearing. She had told me she had trouble getting away from her guardian at the time. Whoever is training her currently, won’t be able to bring her to her full potential. I could already tell by her form, along with how she decided to attack me directly and in broad daylight, that her teacher was an ameutuer. Throughout the week, I had contemplated deeply on whether or not I should or shouldn’t give her a chance at a life where her skills would benefit her. 

In the end, I offered her some new guardians, new trainers, and a new home. After giving her more details of my proposition, I told her that I would give her three days to decide. To my surprise, Cesa immediately said yes to my offer. The strange feeling I had gotten during my first run-in with her had come bubbling up once again. 

I originally decided to give her three days in order for me to be able to warn and convince my parents to allow her to stay. I didn’t think she’d answer so quickly, but I obviously did think ahead to the scenario of if she decided on the spot. 

“I’ll still give you three days to at least gather anything you might want or need.” I had said to her. “Meet me here, in this clearing at the same time after the days have passed. Also, what is your name?”

She was mum before saying, “My name is Cesa. Cesa Quainat.” 

“My name is Illumi. Illumi Zoldyck.” I had then turned and walked back to the testing gate, looking back once to see Cesa standing there, deep in thought.

The next few days were punishing as my parents wouldn’t listen to a word I had to say. Every time I would try to bring up Cesa, they would ignore me and go on to talking about my next job and about how much potential was building up in two-year-old Killua. My Grandfather on the other hand, told me to just bring the girl and train with her so that he could maybe see what I had seen in her.

After time was up, I had arrived at the clearing to see that Cesa was already there with a small bag slung around her back. The faintest smell of blood reached my nose when I reached the girl. I saw small blood stains on the right sleeve of her shirt. I decided not to pry and concluded that her guardian did not take well to her leaving them. 

Our walk towards the Testing Gate was filled with silence. I had no clue what to say to the first girl I’d ever taken interest in. I’d never spoken to any of my targets, female or not. Even if they screamed and shouted, asking what I’m doing, or to spare them, I’ve never said a word. I was taught from a young age to never speak with the people outside. I don’t know what made me wish to speak to Cesa, nevermind bring her to my home and give her a place to live. 

At the time, I could only wish that it was worth it.

And seeing that Cesa is basically part of the family now, it obviously was. 

After getting through the Testing Gate, we found my Grandfather Zeno waiting behind.

“Fight. Now.” Was what my Grandfather said after we both entered.

Neither of us needed to be told twice. Cesa immediately dropped down into a fighting stance and drew out a small dagger that had been hidden away under her skirt in a knife holster around her right thigh. I, on the other hand, stay standing straight and keep my large eyes on my target. 

Seconds seemed like minutes before Cesa made the first move of jumping into the trees and concealing her presence with zetsu. During my pursuit for her, Grandfather had followed close behind, assessing the both of us. I don’t think Cesa knew this, but during our battle, Mother and Father were hidden close by, watching our every move and severely judging Cesa. 

Our fight went on for hours before I finally immobilized Cesa onto a tree. She had accidentally let her guard down when I pretended I was hurt from a slash she gave me. 

“Not bad young lady.” Father had finally emerged out of the shadows with Mother close behind him. “No one here thought you would last that long in a fight against my son.”

Cesa had said nothing before bowing her head. My Father then finally gave me the okay that Cesa could stay with us and train alongside me. 

“I guess I’m stuck here with you.” Cesa said after she took in the fact that she was just told that she was now a part of the Zoldyck Family. 

“I guess so.”

It’s hard to believe that it’s been a whole decade since then. A whole ten years of training and getting to know the girl who tried to steal from the eldest son of the Zoldyck family. I wonder where the both of us would be today if we hadn’t met each other, or if I had killed her on sight. 

This is too much thinking for one day. I need to sleep to be able to have enough energy for the mission tomorrow. Besides, I have yet to know how Cesa herself feels about me. I don’t wish to force myself on her, she’s more than likely still hurt over Hisoka. She wouldn’t want another man breathing down her back.

I’ll tell her about this building feeling in my mind and heart when the time is right.

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“Who were you talking to Cesa?” I grab the showerhead and turn the water to the coldest setting. “You seemed fairly happy to talk to them.”

“Hmm?” The girl’s eyes stay closed while I rinse out the remaining black hair dye. “Oh. Don’t worry too much about it Machi, it’s just an old friend.”

“I won’t pry.”

“Thank you.”

I turn off the showerhead and check if there are any spots that I missed. “Besides, it would give you the chance to ask something about me or my past.”

Cesa gives a small hum in response. I step away from the bathtub she’s resting her head over to grab two towels. One, I throw towards Cesa, while the other I use to dry my own hands. We’re both silent until I remember that I’d gotten some snacks specifically for Cesa’s sake. 

“I bought some snacks if you get hungry. They’re in the cupboard to the top right of the fridge.”

“More Troupe work?”

“Yeah. Chrollo is planning another heist.”

The female assassin sighs. “And here I thought we would be able to talk a little longer.”

I give her a small smile. “We both know how crucial deadlines are.” All I get is a small groan in response. “Well, see you later then.”

“See you later Machi.”

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“August 30th Machi, remember the date.” Chrollo’s voice flows smooth like a river.

“Eight more months then.” I make a mental note to write the date down later. 

Eight more months until the Phantom Troupe infiltrates Yorknew’s famous auctions both above and below ground. Thinking about this makes me wonder how long Cesa plans to stay with me. I make yet another mental note to ask her once I get back.

“Machi, another thing.”

“Yes Boss?”

I hear something, a book to be exact, close shut. “Make sure all troupe members come, especially Hisoka.”

A small sigh flows out from my mouth. Damn magician. I would rather hang myself with my own threads than go and speak to him. He’s always flirting with me despite him having (well not anymore anyways) someone. Cesa was more than aware that Hisoka was flirting with me, she just understood that it’s his personality and loved him regardless. I tried telling her that it wouldn’t work out in the slightest, but she had just said;

“We’ll see what happens.” 

It’s such a shame that she finally found out about Hisoka’s prominent unfaithfulness the way she did.

Those things don’t matter right now, Chrollo’s orders are of most importance and I must follow them,“... Yes Boss.”

“Good. Until next time Machi.”

“Until next time boss.”

The click of a dead line signals my time to leave the internet cafe and head back home. The clock on the wall reads eleven fifty-four PM. 

Time for some well-deserved rest.


	3. Side Story: Happy Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Illumi gave Cesa the bracelet she now brings with her everywhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I imagine that Illumi would've been really awkward when giving Cesa the bracelet.
> 
> Also, this is a flashback. (Cesa and Illumi are the same age.) This is during Cesa's 18th birthday.

“Cesa.” I called out.

“Illumi?” The girl’s white hair flowed perfectly around her body as she turned around. “What is it?”

This girl. This powerfully deadly girl. I want her more than I should. My one weakness, the only person besides my family that I will ever allow to touch me, is the girl who stands before me. The girl whose eighteenth birthday is today.

“Lumi?” She waved her hand.

“Sorry.” The hand that held the gift for her tightened.

How do I start to say this? Should I tell her now? What do I do?

“Lumi, if you’re going to say ‘happy birthday’, then say it already.” Cesa giggled. “You’re so awkward.”

She gave me a playful punch. “It’s not like you’re any better, Cesa.”

“You’re not wrong.”

I brought out my hand from behind me and opened it slowly. “Happy Birthday.” I mumbled.

She took the gift and inspected it. “A bracelet? Where did you get it?”

“I made it.” I felt sweat building up around my palms. That’s weird. “Do you like it?

Cesa didn’t answer me for some minutes until she smiled and said, “Of course I do.”

The feeling in my chest swelled exponentially and hasn’t stopped ever since that day.


	4. Why Aces of All Things?

**TEN DAYS UNTIL THE 287TH HUNTER EXAM**

What should I wear? What should I bring? I dig through my closet to see what would be a good outfit to wear. I pick up a good pair of trousers and a crop top with poofy short sleeves. Not that my choice in clothes matters to the actual exam. I could be butt-naked and it wouldn’t hinder my overall performance. Should I just go in just boxers instead? I pick up the articles of clothing, under them I find a large light yellow square-shaped scarf.

“Ahhhh… the scarf my Darling Cesa wore during our first fight.” I pick up and examine the old scarf. It’s been so long since I’ve last seen this.”

The scarf has specks of dirt and dust sprinkled all over. There’s even a small rip on one of the sides. I smirk. Nothing I can’t fix. I know what’ll be my main accessory for this little outfit of mine. Sparks of color always seem to pull my unconventional choices in clothes together.

I’m sure Cesa will love to see this scarf again. I remember her saying she was looking for it a week or two ago.

Now how to wear it is the main question.

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“Cesa, come on, keep up!” Machi shouts at me while increasing her speed.

I increase my own speed to match Machi’s while making sure that my Zetsu is constantly running. Machi and I have been running for the past three hours to make sure my cardiovascular endurance is kept working efficiently for the Hunter Exam. I have no idea what there could be on the exam, so I have to be ready for anything. The exam is meant for monsters after all. 

After two more hours of running, Machi and I finally take a break at the base of a small mountain. 

“Is there anything else you want to train for?” Machi downs half her water. 

“Nen fights.” I swallow the rest of my water, “It’s more than likely that I have to fight against a nen user. I need to make sure my nen is as refined as I can make it.”

“Then let’s start.”

Four hours later, I’m tired, sweaty, and ready to pass out. When you fight against another person with nen, you have to be ready to die after all. The Hunter Exam has no shortage of deaths and murders, greed and competitiveness is the main cause of this. If i want to pass this exam, I have to be able to work as efficiently as I can.

Especially if Illumi and Hisoka are contenders. 

Another six hours pass, and the two of us are finally at home with the sun casting shadows behind us. The time on the grandfather clock that Machi owns reads eight PM. 

“A whole day of training.” I grab the towel I kept in a bag and begin dabbing the sweat dripping off my body,“How productive.”

“Are you not usually productive?” Machi pulls out her own towel, mirroring my movements.

“No, I am.” I head towards the kitchen area to find some microwave meals for the both of us. “It’s just that I haven’t had a full day of training ever since I became a full-fledged assassin nine years ago.”

Machi follows me to the kitchen and takes a seat at her dinner table. “Who trained you--” Machi stops herself. We both smile.

There are two unspoken rules between Machi and I. One, if you ask a question about the other’s past, you must answer a question the other asks about yours. And two, we will help the other if we can and are able to. Both Machi and I refuse to talk about our past. We both agree that it’s far from being information the other needs to know. The two of us very obviously know we didn’t grow up like the people who walk the streets during the day.

The most I know about Machi is that she’s from Meteor City and is an original member of the Phantom Troupe. That’s all I need to know to be able to paint a small image of what her past could potentially have looked like. 

Our rule about helping each other comes from the amount of respect we have for one another. Machi respects me for being able to deal with Hisoka and for the fact that I’ve beat him in a battle. I respect Machi for her strength in Nen and because she’s been dealing with Hisoka’s shenanigans for a little longer than I have.

“You’re leaving by the end of the week, right?”

I look up at the spider, “Yeah, why?”

“Will you be coming back?”

“Hopefully I’ll pass and get my Hunter License. I’ll stay in a hotel if I do. If I don’t pass, I’ll find some other accommodations.”

“Okay.” Machi returns her gaze to her microwave meal. “It’s because the next heist is in Yorknew, and I don’t want to leave you here alone.”

“I’m actually interested in the auction.”

One of Machi’s eyebrows goes up, “How’d you know?”

“Just a guess”. I take a small sip of water,” Both the Underground Auction and the world’s largest auction are both taking place in Yorknew at the same time. I’d like to think that thieves like the Phantom Troupe wouldn’t be able to resist.”

“You guessed correctly.” A small smile makes its way onto Machi’s face. “The Boss can’t wait.”

“And it looks like neither can you.”

“It’s been about two years since our last mission, of course I’m excited.” We both take a second to stare at each other and laugh. “So will you be joining me in Yorknew for the auction?”

“If that’s alright with you.”

“It should be okay if it’s me bringing you.” She frowns. “But if Hisoka is there…”

“I’ll be fine. I’ll stay in a hotel.”

She studies my face before saying, “Okay.”

“Now, I’m going to go take a shower and turn in.”

“Very well, good night then.”

I smile. “Night.”

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“Hisoka.”

“Mmm?”

“If you don’t stop squirming, I’ll push you off this airship myself.”

“How fun Illumi! Why don’t you?”

A very long, very heavy sigh comes out of my mouth. Two days on an airship with Hisoka is honestly two too many. Our flight is supposed to land soon, and for that I am  **_extremely_ ** grateful. I very honestly have no idea how my “friendship” with Hisoka came to be. One moment, I’m congratulating Cesa on her win against him, then the next I’m talking to Hisoka about the Hunter Exam and how we’re going to pass it. How that conversation even started, I still question to this day.

If I dig deep into my memories of that day, I think that I was just unknowingly drawn to the deadly magician. He’s a year older than me, a little stronger than me in Nen, and he had caught Cesa’s interest as well. Hisoka isn’t what I would call a friend, but an acquaintance and worthy opponent. He  _ was _ able to hold up against Cesa for longer than five minutes. 

Maybe that’s why he piqued my interest.

Cesa’s Nen abilities are somewhat more superior than mine. One of them in particular is able to send her enemies either to sleep or to death by singing a special song laced with her Nen.  _ Deathly Lullaby _ as she likes to call it. You won’t know if you’re going to sleep or die until the end of the song. Most of her Nen abilities are based on both music and her voice. And that is the very clear reason why Cesa is called “The Siren”.

“Hello valued passengers, we are now landing. Please fasten your seatbelts and be ready to descend.” A woman’s voice over the intercom echoes throughout the whole airship.

One step closer to getting a Hunter License and being able to see Cesa once again. 

I hear a small chuckle next to me.

“I’ll see you soon, my Darling Cesa.” Hisoka breathes out, a sinister smirk slowly appearing on his face.

I hope your disguise is enough to fool Hisoka, Cesa. I’ll protect you from him if it isn’t. 

_ (Even if you’re more than capable of protecting yourself). _

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“Cesa! There’s a package for you here!” Machi yells.

I rush out of my room and to the front door where my package sits. “Good, I was afraid that they were delayed to the point where I’d have to use needles to change my eye color.”

“Color contacts?” Machi gets up from her place on the couch, intrigued. “What color did you get?

The corners of my lips turn down. I keep getting caught off-guard by the pressure and pain in my chest caused by him.

“Cesa?”

“Yellow… canary yellow.”

Machi folds her arms and glares. “Out of all the colors you could’ve gotten, you chose yellow?”

“In my defense, it was the only color they had left in stock.” A hand goes up to play with the necklace resting atop of my breasts. It was from Hisoka.

“Then why didn’t you look at a different store?”

“Other stores were too far for them to be able to ship contacts here on time.” I need to focus. I can’t let him plague my thoughts when I’m supposed to be focused on removing him from my mind. I don’t need a sudden ache of pain during the Hunter Exam either. I need to keep my mind on something else. I need a distraction. I absentmindedly rub the jewel around my neck. I should take it off. It’s not doing anything except to remind me of the clown-like magician.

“Hey, no time to sulk about your shitty ex boyfriend.” Machi gives me a soft kick. I grin. “Go try them on, let’s see how they look with your new hair.”

“Kay.”

About thirty-five minutes and twenty-seven failed attempts later, I finally have both colored contacts in and am admiring them in the mirror in front of me. The contacts are able to cover my irises completely with some of the color of my irises shining through. It’s very interesting to see that the contacts can’t fully hide my periwinkle eyes. A small defect, but should be enough.

“Some of your iris color is still showing.” Machi points out.

“I know. I might have to just wear a bandana around my eyes.” You can hear the sarcasm in my voice as clear as day.

“That’s just going to drag more attention to you.”

I think a small bit. “It may not. There are many,  _ many  _ weird and bizarre people that take the Hunter Exam.”

“Yes, but there aren’t many women who take the Hunter Exam. Your  _ assets _ may drag a lot more attention to you than you’d like.” Machi chuckles.

“What?”

“Men are animals, Cesa, and there are no shortage of them during the Hunter Exam.”

I deadpan. “You don’t think I know that?”

“Just saying.”

Seven more days until I depart. Lately, rumors have been spreading around the harbor like wildfire about multiple locations of where a guide to the Hunter Exam may be. After some rounds of patrol throughout the town and intense research, I’ve already secured the location of a guide nearby at the top of a hill. 

The only thing left to do is train, train, and train some more.

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**SIX DAYS UNTIL THE 287TH HUNTER EXAM**

Left, right, feint, dodge, jump. Whenever she lifts her hand, it means that she’s about to send a couple threads my way. Use Gyo to see them and dodge. I need to think quickly and react even quicker. There are bound to be Nen users at the exam. 

Don’t rely completely on your Hatsu. Only use it when you need to. Rely on parts of your assassin training as well. I need to be able to use all of my abilities. I won’t pass the Hunter Exam if I don’t. Wait for an opening, even if it only lasts for a few seconds. Every moment counts. Machi sends another round of threads my way, stumbling on a small branch behind her.

Perfect.

I grab the dagger from the holster around my thigh and throw it her general direction. Suddenly, hundreds of the same knife appears, all going towards Machi. Using the forest and trees around me as cover, I go into a state of Zetsu while my knives distract Machi. Sounds of metal bouncing off, falling, and disappearing reaches my ears while I circle Machi, waiting for another opening to attack.

An opening reveals itself to me when Machi leaves her left side without much defense.

I immediately bounce myself off a tree and elongate my already sharp nails. I fly closer and closer to my target. I’m confident about my victory until I find myself tangled and suspended in the air. Not again.

“Goddamnit Machi.” I know better than to wiggle against the razor-edged strings.

“You seriously need to practice your Gyo more.” She grabs one of my hands before releasing her threads.

“I’ve been using Gyo all my life.” Machi tosses me a water bottle. “It’s just hard to notice your threads when you’re zipping through the air and when they’re so fucking  _ thin _ .”

“If it makes you feel better, you were a second close to beating me.”

“That makes it worse, thank you very much.”

“You’re definitely getting better though.”

I sigh. “I hope so.”

“You’re more than ready for the exam, you know this.” 

“I know.” Pressure and slight aches of pain start to build. “I’m just a little on edge.”

Machi notices the change in my aura immediately. “Cesa. Find something to focus on. I can’t always be there to be your distraction.

I exhale a breath. I focus on the scenery, the sounds, the texture of the grass below me. Anything to keep my mind off the building pain and weight on my chest. Even the smallest thing would be a good distraction for me. My ears immediately focus on the sound of two small figures, more than likely children, moving around about twenty meters away. I make out the sounds of the children’s laughs and the small crunchy noises of the grass under their feet getting squashed by their feet. The tension and ache in my chest slowly fades away until all I feel is the slight pressure of the necklace around my neck.

“Let’s head back.” 

My head whips in Machi’s direction. “We’ve only been training for three hours.”

“You can’t expect to pass the exam if you’re overworked.” She helps me up. “You also still need to pack.”

“You’re right. My period is coming in the next few days. I need to be ready for that.” I grimace at the thought of cramps or not being able to clean up completely if I bleed through my clothes.

Machi shakes her head and laughs. “You have too many obstacles and setbacks.”

“And I’ll get through all of them.”

She turns serious. “I know you will.”

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**TWO HOURS UNTIL THE 287TH HUNTER EXAM BEGINS**

A woman is the next to arrive through the elevator doors. After the small green entity hands the woman her badge, she attaches it to her shirt and surveys the area and the rest of the Hunter Exam applicants. The woman’s badge reads the number 402.

The second she lifts her right hand to adjust her hair, I know it’s her. The gem on her bracelet around her arm twinkles despite the small amount of light in this tunnel. Cesa has finally arrived.

I almost didn’t recognize her with her newly dyed charcoal-black hair up in a ponytail and vibrant canary yellow eyes (why  _ yellow _ of all colors?) . Based on how more exaggerated her facial structure is, I can tell that she’s put some makeup to use. I don’t know much about the items women use on their faces to change them, but if I remember correctly, Hisoka told me that women “contour” their faces in order for them to have more defined features.

Whatever that means anyway.

Cesa, of course, is sporting a tight-fitted long sleeve shirt the same color as her hair and a white skirt that reaches her mid-thigh. And as always, she’s wearing a pair of heeled lace-up boots. Ever since she found out about the existence of these articles of clothing, it became her go-to type of clothes for most missions or any activity that involves her needing to fight.

I don’t know why anyone would wear heels to fight, but Cesa’s reasoning for it is because;

“It’s more efficient and a lot more fun to kick someone in the face and maybe stab their eyes out at the same time.”

It’s not like I could argue with her about that. I’d seen her do exactly that many,  _ many  _ times during missions.

Cesa continues to take in her surroundings and all the other applicants until her eyes reach my own. To Cesa, the needles in my face are a dead giveaway for my identity. She’s seen them countless times after all. Her lips turn to a small smile before tearing her eyes away from me and laying them on Hisoka’s figure. He hasn’t made a move or looked in her direction ever since she arrived. She must’ve done some immense training on her Zetsu to be able to completely go past Hisoka’s radar.

Either that or her new look doesn’t pique Hisoka’s interest in her.

At least she’s safe from him for the time being.

My attention is taken away from Cesa and to the elevator doors opening once again. Instead of a single person emerging, a group of three people step out. One is a tall, lanky man in a blue suit and small round glasses. The second is a teenage boy wearing a blue tabard lined with strange yellow symbols and a training suit. And the last, is a young boy, looking to be near Killua’s age wearing a jacket, backpack, and shorts all various variants of green.

To my surprise, this group also catches the interest of Hisoka. 

Enough to make him make his presence  _ very _ known to them by removing the arms of an applicant that bumped into him without a “sorry” or “excuse me”.

“My, how unusual. It looks like this poor man’s arms are dissolving into flower petals.” The magician hums. “Now you see them, now you don’t”

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Cesa roll her eyes and snicker. 

I feel dragons flapping around in my stomach.

Ten minutes later, the sound of an alarm rings. A wall the opposite of the elevator starts to open, revealing a man with no mouth, dressed in a purple suit. 

“I apologize for the delay,” he starts, “Thank you for waiting.”

The man then goes to introduce himself as Satoz. He warns each and every applicant about the distinct possibility of death and being severely injured. The tension in the room only thickens as he continues the rest of his welcoming speech. He then explains that to those who wish to continue in the pursuit of acquiring a hunter license, to follow him.

It seems as if the first phase of the exam is going to be a test of endurance. The two main problems of this is one, how long we’re going to be following this man ,and two, if we’re going to be on the same type of terrain for the whole phase. Different terrains require certain amounts of energy to run or walk on. 

Once Satoz is finished speaking , the first phase examiner turns and the Hunter Exam has officially begun.

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After six hours of running and dealing with an extremely proud gourmet hunter for half a day, us remaining applicants are on an airship headed towards the third phase of the exam. And among those applicants, is the group of three from earlier, my younger brother Killua (I noticed him during the first phase), and thankfully, Cesa.

“Gittarackur, was it?” 

Speak of the devil. “Correct. And what would your name be?”

“Aces.” She cringes.

Aces? It’s clear that it’s an anagram of her name ‘Cesa’, but she couldn’t have come up with anything else? Even a name like ‘Carrie’ or ‘Mia’ would’ve been better than ‘Aces’. Or maybe it’s a reference to Hisoka and the cards he carries? But why would she connect herself to him like that? 

Is she trying to catch his attention?

“Gittarackur.” She brings a finger up to her lips. “Let’s speak somewhere else.”

We both make our way to a room in the airship that contains a piano and some other instruments. Cesa peeks out the door to make sure that we weren’t followed. When she’s satisfied she closes the door and turns her attention to me.

“No, I’m not trying to get Hisoka’s attention.” She huffs out.

“Then why ‘Aces’?”

She doesn’t answer me. Instead, she starts to hold in laughter. “I’m sorry. You just look so… hideous.”

The expression on my face is indescribable as I pull out my needles to change my physical appearance back to my regular face. “Better?”

“Yes, but you still look horrible.”

“Charming as always, aren’t you.” It seems like she’s in a better state of mind. When she left, her expression looked like Killua’s whenever I say it’s impossible for him to have friends. “You look nice with your new black hair and yellow eyes.”

“I saw Kil.” She changed the subject?

“So did I. He shouldn’t be here. He’s not fit to be a Hunter.”

She sighs. “I know that it’s none of my business, but do you ever think of anything else other than Killua being the next head of the family?”

I cock my head to one side. “I think about you.”

Cesa stiffens. Something shifts in her eyes. “Someone’s nearby.”

Her senses have gotten sharper. How hard did she train the past month to have that much of a difference? More importantly, why does this always happen when I try to make a pass at her?

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“Killua! What are you talking about?”

Thoughts race through my head.

“I’m not sure if it’s her, but I have a feeling it is.” Gon’s confusion only worsens.

“There’s a person in my family who isn’t blood-related, but I consider her my older sister.” I finally explain.

“And she’s here?”

“I think so.”

He takes another bite of the meat stick. “How do you know it’s her?” He asks after swallowing.

“The bracelet she’s wearing, my brother gave it to her a couple years ago.”

The bracelet that allows him to know exactly where she is at all times. I remember watching him make it and gifting it to her when I was eight years old. He had given it to her on her eighteenth birthday after she had gotten back from a mission. That was the only gift I’ve ever seen Illumi give someone.

Then again, older sister Cesa is the only person Illumi has ever considered as a “friend”. It’s not fair. How come Illumi gets a friend but I don’t? But in a way, Cesa is part of the family. She lives in the main mansion, eats at the table with us, and Grandfather had trained her himself. Still, she’s the only person who listens to the words I have to say no matter what they are. 

Growing up, Cesa was always able to leave the mansion whenever she wished, and as long as she wished. This was a request she made after she had been in the mansion for a week without being able to go out without a butler accompanying her. Her request was granted by my Father and Grandfather under the conditions that she would one, help Illumi train me, two, she would never cease to be Illumi’s friend, and three, she would never speak of her affiliation to the Zoldyck family unless a Zoldyck permitted it. 

For all conditions placed, only Zoldycks are able to abolish it. I would’ve abolished it for Cesa a long time ago, however she was against it. 

“I don’t want to put your family in danger.” Was her reasoning.

In my opinion, the first two conditions set by my Father and Grandfather are very small compared to the request Cesa had made. Then again, Cesa has been the only female that hasn’t gone off in the other direction screaming when seeing Illumi, and I much preferred Cesa’s training sessions compared to Illumi’s.

Even Illumi wouldn’t be able to stop them.

Wait. If she’s here, does that mean that Illumi is here too? They’re usually together. But then why would she have to change her appearance? Is she hiding from someone? Or did she just wish to change her looks a bit?

That can’t be it, Cesa loves the way she looks. She’s  **_very_ ** narcissistic. Even more than I am.

I remember a couple years ago, there was a time where I had been given a mission, but Illumi was busy with his own mission. Because of that, Cesa was the one who supervised me. During that mission, I remember asking her if she would ever change the way she looked because of how similar she looked to me.

“I love the way I look. And I much prefer looking like you rather than like the rest of your family. Besides, black hair is a bit too dull for someone like me.” Was her answer to my stupid question.

Cesa is a kind person. This has been made evident through the years I’ve spent with her. She has good intentions when she needs and wants to have them. When she’s on a job however, she’s the most deceptive and misleading person you’ll ever meet. Her features give her a very innocent and weak impression on her targets. The fact that she’s a woman adds the illusion that she’s not much of a threat.

It makes Cesa’s job much easier.

Although I’ve never seen the abilities that have given Cesa the name “Siren”, the way she so smoothly eliminates her targets reminds me of a song I heard a while ago. The featured singer in the song’s voice flowed like honey falling off a spoon. Whenever Cesa cuts her targets, it takes a second for the blood to realize that it has a space to flow out of. Cesa is quick in her movements and does not hesitate in the slightest. 

A perfect assassin.

A perfect assassin who only kills when she needs to, but enjoys the process of murder a lot more than she should.

“Killuaaaa!” 

“What Gon?”

“Look!” Gon points at a figure walking towards us. Low and behold, it’s who I suspect to be Cesa. 

Now that I don’t have any distractions, I take a better look at the woman. The only thing different about her is the yellow eyes (why yellow out of all colors?) and the black hair. But, if you look close enough, you can see pure white at the roots of her hair. Coupled with these new observations and the bracelet, this is definitely Cesa.

“Long time no see, older sister.” I say after she passes by Gon and I. “Don’t worry, you’re good to speak.”

The sound of footsteps ceases and I hear the woman sigh. “Guess I can’t fool you.”

“If you had hidden the bracelet Illumi gave you, you probably would have.”

“It was hidden earlier,” She stuffs the bracelet under the sleeve of her shirt, but stops mid-way, removes it, and places it in an extra pocket on her knife holster around her thigh. “I guess I was too focused on the exam.”

“I can’t blame you.”

Cesa’s eyes shift from me and to Gon. “Did you finally make a friend, Kil?” The smile on her face is soft with no malice laced in.

Gon beams. “Hi! Nice to meet you! I’m Killua’s friend, Gon!”

“Nice to meet you Gon.”

Something happened. “You’re not going to introduce yourself?”

Her expression turns dark. “My name is Aces.” When she sees the clear confusion on my face she adds, “Let’s talk somewhere else.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to give a heads up that school for me is going to start soon. 
> 
> I'll do my very best to juggle writing and schoolwork so that you all won't be left waiting for what's going to happen next.
> 
> Thank you again for taking the time to read my storyyyyy!! <3


	5. I Miss Her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School starts next week for me. I hope that everyone else who's starting or has already started is doing well!!

From my corner, I watch my precious unripe fruit follow a woman to another part of the airship. 

That woman, Aces I think her name, her aura nodes have been turned off completely, even before the exam started. Constantly in Zetsu. Almost as if she’s like an animal, constantly stalking her prey. Based on how often she steals glances at me, I’m likely to be the prey she’s trying to capture. I don’t remember seeing anyone like her in my life. Perhaps I disposed of a friend of hers some time ago?

Or perhaps, she could be my dear darling Cesa in disguise. She wouldn’t want me easily finding her after all. Let me see, are there any similarities between Aces and Cesa? Aces is an anagram of Cesa. The girl’s yellow eyes are remarkably similar to mine. 

Without being able to look at her directly, I can’t put together too many similarities between the two. I am curious however about what the little bump atop her breasts under her shirt is. A pendant perhaps?

I’ll have to wait for the right moment to be able to observe her thoroughly.

I hum a small tune to myself to distract myself during my walk back to the sleeping quarters. That’s enough thinking for today. I need my beauty sleep.

There will be plenty of time and chances to be able to find my sweet Cesa.

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_ “Hello there Darling.~” The woman in front of me doesn’t flinch or show any signs of fear despite a card against her neck drawing blood. If anything, she looks annoyed and amused at the same time. _

_ How interesting… _

_ “Hisoka, correct?” She continues to stay still, calm, and collected. “Did you need something?” _

_ I chuckle. “You know who I am? And you’re not afraid of me?” She doesn’t answer me. “You’ve caught my interest. Your battle today was very… one-sided.” _

_ Many of the fighters on this floor are idiots, but they are all strong in their own regard. Even fights against me last at least two minutes. But, I’m confused. This woman is clearly strong and knows how to use Nen. How else would she have won that quickly? She’s strong. How come she doesn’t just break free from my grasp?  _

_ I smirk. Perhaps I’ve caught her interest as well. She knows who I am after all. _

_ “Something so common piqued your interest?” She scoffs. Her actions cause my card to go deeper into her skin. More blood flows out. _

_ “Well this  _ **_common_ ** _ occurrence took place in a matter of only a few seconds.” I withdraw my card. “How did you win so quickly?” _

_ “Why don’t you find out for yourself?” Sassy one, isn’t she? _

_ I expected this however it never hurts to ask. No Nen user would share the secret of their power or abilities so easily after all. Once you know the secret behind the magic tricks, it usually becomes less enjoyable to watch.  _

_ “Tomorrow.” _

_ “What?” _

_ “Tomorrow, fight me.” I start to walk towards the registration desk. “Or are you scared to?~” _

_ She glares. “I’ll fight you even if it’s tomorrow.”  _

_ No ounce of bloodlust can be felt. She has good control. _

**_And mountains of potential._ **

_ “Ever the gentlemen, aren’t you?” Her comment catches me off-guard. “You didn’t even ask my name.” _

_ “Apologies, what is your name pretty Diamond?~” _

_ She seems caught off guard by the compliment and nickname. “Cesa Quainat.” _

_ “Well my dear darling Cesa, let us go register for our fight.” _

_ I expect her to follow after me, but she doesn’t. “Having second thoughts?” _

_ “No. I just need to go to the bathroom first.” _

_ “Huh?” _

_. _

_. _

_. _

I awaken with a smirk plastered on my face. What a pleasant dream. How long ago was it that I met my darling Cesa? Two years? How naive I was back then. I waited a second after the referee had announced that the match had begun. The second she opened her mouth was the moment I realized that I should’ve moved immediately.

It wasn’t until later that I learned about her assassination job, her affiliation with the Zoldycks, and that she’s called the Siren in her line of work. Therefore, if this “Aces” woman uses her Nen abilities, it will confirm all of my assumptions. That’s assuming that she is Cesa and not some random woman.

I unconsciously grab the scarf around my waist and run my fingers over it. I fixed the rip and washed dirt and dust off. The more I run my fingers over the cloth, the more my mind is clouded by thoughts of Cesa. I don’t blame her for leaving me. Anyone in their right mind would leave someone who cheats on them.

But she could've at least yelled at me a little as a heads up before she left.

Thoughts run through my head before I can stop them. Why did I start sleeping with random woman from Heaven’s Arena again?

I had stopped doing that when Cesa started to show interest in me. Why did I restart my old cycle? What caused me to hunt for a partner other than Cesa at night? It must’ve been because she was always too busy to care for my needs. Her knee… her knee! That’s right. She was unable to do anything with me because of how injured her knee had gotten a couple months ago.Then she got busy with gathering intel for assassinations.

Because of all of that, my needs got out of hand. They got out of hand and Cesa wasn’t there to help me satisfy them. That’s why I started my old cycle again.

That’s all there is to it... 

Yes…

Right?

Right. 

  
My hands go up to grab my hair.  
  
  


**_“I miss her.”_ **

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I stare at my adoptive older sister while she sleeps. Before Netero had found and challenged Gon and I to that ridiculous game, Cesa had explained everything that had happened after she began living outside of the Zoldyck household.I had no idea that Cesa had been dating someone the past two years, let alone that that person was Hisoka. 

Cesa then went to tell Gon and I about how she currently has to avoid Hisoka because of an argument and betrayal they had that resulted in Hisoka wishing to harm her. While talking about the events that led up to the betrayal, something in her voice and eyes shift, leading me to believe that there’s something she’s not telling us.

Cesa’s voice’s pitch always goes up a little whenever she lies.

A perverted, psychotic, mass-murdering clown. I’m honestly not too surprised. Cesa has been friends with Illumi since she was twelve and has been surrounded by my family for ten years. In a way, Hisoka and Illumi are very similar. Both have murdered, both use any means possible to get what they want , and both have large amounts of power. 

I’m also very sure that Hisoka has influenced my brother’s current fashion sense.

Gon on the other hand, yells out, “YOU DATED HISOKA?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO YOURSELF?”

“Shhh! I don’t need him hearing that I’m here, nor do I need any of the other applicants to know that Hisoka is an old flame of mine.” Cesa harshly whispers.

From what Cesa told me last night, Hisoka and Illumi are somewhat friends, and Illumi is here with Hisoka disguised as Gittarackur.

At least I know who to avoid for the rest of the exam.

Thank god for the close relationship I have with Cesa.

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_ “Mama? Is that you?” A child lifts both her arms up when a woman walks up to her crib.  _

_ “Yes, it’s Mama!” The woman lifts up the child and showers her in kisses. The child looks to be about six or seven years old. “Did my baby need something?” _

_ What is this? Who are these people? _

_ Blood abruptly splatters against the wall, the woman is dead on the floor and the child is in the arms of a dark silhouette. The loud cries from the child seem to annoy the silhouette as they shush the child and tell her to shut up. When the silhouette had had enough, Nen burst from their fingers and were placed on the child’s head. _

_ What are they doing? _

_ A few seconds pass before the child is completely calmed down. _

_ “Mama?” The child says. _

_ “Yes. It’s Mama.” The silhouette’s maniacal giggles fill the air. “Mama is here now.” _

_ “No. You’re not that child’s mother.” I blurt out. What am I saying? No one hears me. “You’re not that child’s mother!”  _

_ Why do I care so much about her not being this child’s mother? _

I’m screaming when I awaken.

Killua rushes to my side. “Cesa? Are you okay?” He says.

“Sorry, I’m fine.” I feel a waterfall pour out under me. “I just need to go to the bathroom, please excuse me.”

Killua doesn’t let go of my arm. “Are you sure?”

I smile, “Yes Kil, don’t worry.”

After changing out my pad and making sure that I didn’t bleed through, I make my way back towards the room I had slept in with Killua. Luckily for me, my period had come last night right after we boarded the airship for the second time. I was extremely glad that I followed my intuition and Machi’s words and packed some extra underwear. Fortunately for me, the airship bathrooms have a bountiful amount of period products that I happily helped myself to.

On the way back, I encounter the last person I wish to run into on this airship. I make sure to avoid eye contact as I pass the magician. Unfortunately for me, while I pass by him, he makes a deal out of eying me intensely. Did he figure me out? I was hoping that he wouldn’t find out this quickly. 

He must’ve noticed all the times I stole a glance at him.

“Stay away from Gon.” I hear him whisper. “He’s mine.”

I pause and turn my body to face Hisoka’s figure in slight shock. Hisoka on the other hand, continues walking down the hallway to wherever he plans to go. I know Hisoka murders, but I didn’t know that he has an interest in young children. You learn something new every day. Even if it is something disgusting.

He probably just wants to fight Gon… right? 

For Killua’s sake, I’ll keep an eye on Gon. I wouldn’t want him losing his first friend. Unlike Illumi, I believe that Killua should have friends. It’s what Killua wants and I respect that. If Illumi can have friends, so should Killua. Having friends doesn’t make you weak after all. Most of the time, having friends can save you from your worst thoughts and moments.

My closest friend Jaana is proof of this. She’s the person who helped me out of the hole my old guardian threw me into. I’ve become a stronger person both physically and mentally thanks to Jaana. Without her, I would still be a mindless murder puppet. 

That reminds me, I haven’t seen Jaana ever since Christmas. I’m guessing that she’s still currently on that mission she talked about. I forget what the mission is for, but I’m sure I’ll be seeing her again soon. Jaana’s missions usually last about a week or two long on average. Her longest mission took  _ five months  _ in order to complete. But that was because it was a mission to observe the movements of some organisms that could potentially be a threat to humanity.

Someone else by the name of Kite took over that mission after Jaana’s father required her assistance.

When I finally arrive back at the room I shared with Killua, the intercoms all around the airship crackle to life before the secretary of Chairman Netero begins speaking. “We are nearing our destination. Please get ready for landing.”

Right then and there, I feel my stomach gurgle and groan. A hand extends in front of me with a plate of pastries and a couple kiwis.

“I got you something from the kitchen.” Killua wipes the crumbs from his face. “I remember you saying you like kiwis.” 

“Thanks Killua.” I ruffle his hair before he pushes me away and barks at me to eat.

The food on the plate disappears as quick as it appeared. While I’m wiping off the juice of the kiwis, Beans announces our arrival to phase three of the exam. 

“Where did you and Gon go last night after our conversation?” I ask him while grabbing my belongings.

“We went to go play a game with the chairman.” With the Hunter Association’s chairman?

“How was that?”

“He was too strong for me, so I left after getting tired. Gon stayed so he could get him to use his right hand.” Killua seems a little tense.

“Ah. So that’s why Gon never came back to the room.” Killua and I step into the outside once more.

Looking around, all I see are trees and foliage for miles. I hear multiple applicants murmur about us being in the middle of nowhere. I would believe it if we really are in the middle of nowhere if I didn’t know where we are. Trick Tower I think is what the name of this place is. A place where many dangerous criminals are being kept. Killua rushes towards Gon and his group of friends, bidding me a quick goodbye and saying something about how he’ll see me later.

I smile. At least I know that Illumi’s teachings didn’t completely make him lose hope in making friends.

Now how to get down from this tower…

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Eighteen minutes pass by before I fall into a room below me by accident. The examiner for phase three, Lippo, quickly explains to me that I am to clear the tower in three days in order to pass. Easy enough.

The next few rooms are nothing I would consider out of the ordinary for the Hunter Exam. A bunch of duels and fights in order to gauge personal strength and endurance. A room full of traps to test agility and flexibility. And my personal favourite, a room testing how well you’re able to think under pressure.

By the time Lippo warns me that I’m coming upon the last room of my path of the tower, Fourteen hours and seven minutes have passed. Not bad. The last room contains a table with three cards placed on them. Each card is numbered.

“Choose the correct card and you pass.” Is the only guidance I get from the intercoms.

Card number one is colored plain purple. Card number two is colored black with red triangles. Card number three is white with a single black-colored triangle in the middle. What the hell is supposed to be the right card?

And what the fuck is this test?

I inspect the room to see if there are any hints to which card is the correct card to choose. To my dismay, I find nothing. So, I go back to the table to see if the cards hold anything that will help me. Colors and shapes… is this a study to see the kind of person I am based off of which card I choose? Then is there really a “correct card”? 

I review the three cards again and choose the second one.

The instant I pick up the card, a door opens. As I walk through the door, Lippo announces that I am the fourth to finish clearing the tower and my overall time taken to clear the tower is fourteen hours and twenty-seven minutes. The other three who passed before me are Hisoka, Illumi (as Gittarackur), and another applicant named Hanzo. 

My eyes widen when I take another look at Hisoka. On his shoulder and sides are deep cuts that have a good amount of blood flowing out. What kind of path in the tower did he take? More importantly, what or who could he have run into that would have injured him that much?

Why am I worrying so much about that bastard? I pull my thoughts away from Hisoka and to where I’m going to stay for the next two days.

Seeing that the others have chosen their own little place around the room, I take my place across the room from Illumi and Hisoka. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Hanzo’s eyes wandering over my figure. Whether or not he’s doing that to check me out or so he can assess my level of power remains behind his dark eyes.

“Do you need something?” Hanzo flinches when I address his behavior. “Is there something about me that bothers you?”

Hanzo is quick to shut down the last question. He waves his hands erratically in front of him, “N-no, there’s nothing wrong with you. I was just…”

“Uhm.” He rubs his hand at the back of his head, clearly trying to think of a reason that wouldn’t offend me. 

Our exchange catches the attention of the other two men in the room. Hisoka’s piercing stare fixes itself on my figure while Illumi fixes his gaze on Hanzo’s blushing expression. 

“I-It’s just that... Um…” Hanzo stutters. 

“If you think I’m attractive, you can just say it. I already know that my physical features are fairly nice to look at.” I say slyly.

Hisoka chuckles a little under his breath while Hanzo stares at me, mouth hanging open. Illumi on the other hand, seems to be ready to dispose of the bald man. I shoot him a quick look to tell him to stand down. Hanzo continues staring at me like I’m mad. There’s nothing wrong with telling the truth and being a little narcissistic. It’s better to love yourself rather than constantly doubting yourself after all. 

Seeing that Hanzo has nothing else to say, I go back to minding my own business.

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That woman is the fourth to finish. How much power does she carry? What can she do? Thoughts of engaging in battle with her fills my mind. A shudder runs through my body. Something down below starts wanting attention. My baggy trousers hide that something that’s threatening to grow if I continue to think about this woman. 

Cesa.

My thoughts cease and I’m holding onto the scarf again.

I need to figure out whether or not Aces is truly Cesa or not. Hopefully the next phase allows me to approach her without any witnesses or prying eyes. I wouldn't want anyone interrupting us after all. My current thoughts are that the small bump under her shirt is from the necklace I gave her some time ago. Connected to a long black cord, the pendant of the necklace is a deep red with streaks of orange and pink. The border of it is a simple ring of gold. 

I’d come across this necklace while in yorknew a couple months ago. The pendant reminded me of my vibrant red hair and Cesa’s favourite flower, red roses. Coincidentally, the back of the pendant has an engraving of a rose. After seeing the rose on the back, I immediately bought the necklace and gave it to Cesa upon my return. 

At the time, I’d been dating Cesa for about six months. It seemed like a nice gift to give to her for dealing with my shenanigans for that long. 

She was surprised, but happy to receive my gift. 

When was the last time I’d seen her smile so wide?

I look back to Aces whose head is close to dragging her tired body down to the floor alongside it. That’s something else that reminds me of Cesa. Cesa is always able to fall asleep no matter where or what position her body is in. In this case, it’s not very smart to fall asleep in a room with two murderers and a ninja who’s eyes keep finding their way back to the sleeping lady’s exposed cleavage. 

Nonetheless, I bring out my pack of cards and begin placing them to make a tower. We’re all going to be here for a while.

.

.

.

Exactly seventeen minutes later, Aces is fully asleep and muttering things under her breath. Hanzo seems very interested in the words that are unconsciously coming out of the female’s mouth. Hours pass by and other applicants begin to trickle in slowly every couple hours. Each applicant that enters immediately notices Aces on the ground. After eying her for a second, Hanzo gives them a look that implies she’s not dead.

In fact, the ninja has set himself right next to the girl and fixed the way her body was positioned. He even removed the scarf around his neck and used it as a blanket for the girl. Such a gentleman.

Hanzo might be an obstacle if he decides to hang around Aces for the rest of the exam. That is, if Aces even allows him to follow her around. She seemed fairly annoyed when he was eying her earlier. 

This will be a lot more fun and challenging if Hanzo likes this girl. It adds even more enjoyment on my end if she is my dear darling Cesa. I will have towers of fun  **_explaining_ ** to him that she belongs to me if my assumptions are proven.

I quiver in anticipation. I can hardly wait <3.


	6. Side Story: Stay Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hisoka was always jealous of the friendship Cesa shares with Illumi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes all these side stories are cannon to my story.
> 
> This side story takes place six months before the beginning of the story.

“My Diamond.~” I muse. “You shouldn’t go. You should stay here. With me.”

My Dear Darling Cesa drops the stiletto heel in her hand. “Gummy.. We talked about this.” 

She walks towards me and brings her hands up to rest one on my shoulder while the other wraps its fingers around mine. “Gummy, no one is going to touch or do anything to me. It’s a ball we’re infiltrating, not a brothel.” 

“Men are wolves, my Diamond.” My arms snake around her waist, pulling her close enough to my body that I can feel the wires of her bra. I stare into my Cesa’s periwinkle orbs.

A playful smile appears over her lips. “You’re no exception, Gummy.” She pushes me off and returns to her shoes that are waiting on the floor.

“Why does Illumi always have to steal you from me?” I whisper under my breath.

“Did you say something?”

“Ignore me Darling.”

The click of heels hitting the floor gets louder. Two small hands grip the hem of my shirt and tug it backwards. Those two hands keep their place on my hips while a pair of lips reach my cheek. “I’ll be back soon Gummy.” The same pair of lips presses against my own in a quick, sweet kiss. 

“Best of luck my Diamond.” I watch her step out the door, ready to complete another job alongside her childhood friend Illumi who stands outside, waiting for her. 

Illumi offers his arm to Cesa, which she takes. “Always a gentleman, aren’t you Lumi?”

Their identities for this mission are a married couple that Illumi had disposed of prior to this mission. To make it more believable, they decided to arrive at the job location together.

What rubbish that is. She’d look much better as my bride, walking down the aisle. She’d look even better with that white dress on the floor, and her trapped under my body.

No matter how bad I want to suppress this feeling, it just won’t go away. This bubbling anger and fear that has taken root in me whenever she’s near another man, is a feeling that just won’t go away. She barely has time for me nowadays. Always going off to do jobs with Illumi. 

Never having time to play or cuddle with me.

My Diamond, how often do I occupy your mind?

“Stay with me.” Leaves my lips once she’s out of sight.

“Stay here.”


	7. In the Forest

Any day now… I just need to wait for the right moment.

The early morning heat raining down on me, the mosquitoes trying to suck my blood, the sweat building up on my forehead, I disregard all of it. I can’t lose focus, or else it’ll get away. I’m completely ready to jump and attack. The waves moving the boat stopped giving me seasickness a long time ago. 

I’m ready, I just need my Dad’s confirmation and order to jump into the waters of the deep, mysterious ocean.

Any time now...

“Jaana, NOW!” My Dad yells.

I jump from my spot on the boat, dive into the water, and grab the Moon Eel that we’ve been pursuing for the past few days. It attempts to escape my grasp by forcefully waving its tail around and trying to bite whatever part of me it can get its mouth on. To counter its attack, I squeeze on the moon-shaped fin on the eel’s forehead as hard as I can. The magic beast wriggles around a little longer before going limp.

I throw the eel towards my father who catches it by the tail and places it into a tank of salt water with the twenty other Moon Eels we caught throughout the past couple of weeks.

“Good work. That’s the last of them.” My Dad gives me a thumbs up.

“Which aquarium are they going to?” I activate my Hatsu. Small flames travel all over my body, effectively drying off both me and my clothes without burning them.

“One near Yorknew.” My Dad inspects some paperwork. “I can’t believe that people were eating these beautiful creatures to extinction.”

“At least now they’ll have a chance at thriving again.”

Dad gives me a hum as a response. I stare at the vast ocean around us. It’s been awhile since I last set foot on land. Two weeks maybe? At least this mission has been progressing a lot faster than my Dad thought it would. 

I head into my cabin below deck to check the date. If it’s been two weeks, then the Hunter Exam should’ve started already. Sure enough, it’s January 8th. It’s the second day of the exam.

That means Cesa is currently undergoing whatever the examiners have planned for the 287th Hunter Exam. I have no doubts that my childhood best friend will pass, but then again, you never know what the Hunters Netero chose will give during their phase. Hunters should be able to get through any kind of situation no matter what the obstacles are. 

Above me, I can hear my Dad and the other hunters onboard speaking about when we’ll be able to head back to the land.

“We should be able to be back by the eleventh, Morel.” I hear a Hunter, probably Knov, say to my Dad.

The eleventh? Maybe I’ll be able to drop into the association and see how this year’s applicants are doing.

My phone on the table buzzes, interrupting my thoughts. 

The contact name “ _ Small Goth Boy _ ” appears on the screen.

“Hello my Flower.” The voice on the other end hums. 

I feel the pink creeping onto my cheeks. I’ll never get used to him calling me that. Even after years of being together, his calm and gentle nature always catches me off guard. Feitan isn’t exactly known to be kind to others. 

I recollect my jumbled mind and fan my cheeks, “Did you need something Feitan?” 

“Do I really need a reason to call my girlfriend?”

“You should be careful about what you say. You never know who’s listening.”

Feitan chuckles, a wonderful sound to my ears. “I’m in a place where no one would think of eavesdropping on me.”

“So you’re at home.”

“Of course I am. Where else would I be?”

I grab a change of clothes from my closet. It’s a struggle balancing my phone between my ear and shoulder. How do people do this so effortlessly in the movies? 

“Preparing for your next heist with the Phantom Troupe.”

Feitan sighs. “Not everything I do surrounds the Troupe, Flower.”

I giggle. “A lot of things you do surround the Troupe little goth boy.” 

The other end of the call goes silent. I try my best to stifle the giggles that threaten to make their way past my lips. I already know what my goth boy is going to say. No matter how many times I tease him about his height, the words he says afterwards never get old. And that’s because I’m about two inches shorter than him.

“Flower.”

“Yes?~”

“I’m coming for your ankles.”

“Not if I go for yours first.” 

“You--”

I don’t hear anything he says. My loud cackles of laughter are all my ears register.

.

.

.

.

.

.

I’m far from comfortable with that bald man’s clothing covering Cesa. They don’t even know each other, and yet the ninja decides to let himself into Cesa’s personal space. She isn’t even waking up to push him away. She must’ve exhausted herself with whatever the tower had thrown at her. 

She can’t expose her identity by using Nen after all. It must’ve taken a lot out of her since she couldn’t use any aura to protect her from any attacks. Then again she could just use In. But that would only work for her ability  _ Knives, Just Knives _ . Her main abilities are based off of her voice so In wouldn’t do much for her. Even if she used In, her singing would be a dead giveaway for who she is. Besides, manipulators usually tend to use In.

The red scarf on Cesa slips off, making her shiver from the small lack of warmth. Immediately sensing something, the Ninja awakens from his meditation to fix the scarf back onto my childhood friend. I restrain my need to pull out a few needles and turn the man into a pin cushion. It would cause everyone else in the room to become suspicious of me and my relation to Cesa, which would only give Hisoka a chance to figure out her identity.

I must be patient and wait for my target to get into a more suitable position.

.

.

.

Five more hours pass by before Cesa awakens from her slumber. She immediately notices the scarf and unfamiliar scent from it filling her nostrils. She then notices the meditating ninja centimeters away from her. 

In only a few seconds, Cesa throws the scarf onto Hanzo and has him in a chokehold. The rest of the applicants in the room eyes are wide with shock.

“Why are you still invading my personal space?” She coughs from the fact that she hasn’t drunken anything ever since we got off the airship. 

“Someone had to make sure no one would attempt to murder you in your sleep.” Hanzo fixes his scarf around his neck. “I-I don’t know if you noticed, but those two seem ready to pounce on you or something.”

He points towards Hisoka and I. 

Hisoka raises an eyebrow. The amusement on his face is clear as day. I, on the other hand, stay unmoving and oblivious to the situation in front of me. Neither of us say anything.

“At least they didn’t get in my personal space.” She tightens her grip on the ninja’s shirt.

“I’ll move to the other side room, okay?” Hanzo manages to stutter out. 

Cesa releases the man and moves back to her place on the wall. Hanzo brushes specks of dirt off his clothing and proceeds to make his way to the other end of the room. After sitting down, he returns to his meditations. Cesa then inspects her body. Presumably to check to make sure nothing was taken from her. 

Once she’s satisfied, she brings out a knife and a rag. The other applicants flinch slightly at the sight of a weapon being pulled out. The girl then goes to polish the already shining piece of metal. I recognize the knife as the one my grandfather had given Cesa six years ago. It was a gift to congratulate her on completing a back-breaking mission on her own. 

It’s nice to see that she still has and takes care of it. 

.

.

.

We’re nearing the end of the third phase and I still have yet to see Killua emerge from one of these doors. This exam is nothing but easy. He should’ve been here hours ago. Did he have a few people holding him back? Is that why he hasn’t finished yet? 

Many different scenarios go through my head before I hear the familiar sound of the doors of this room opening. From behind the door emerges Killua, a blonde boy looking the age of seventeen, and another boy in all green that looks Kil’s age. A few seconds later, two other applicants emerge. One of them is the rookie crusher Tonpa, and the other is a tall and lanky man with glasses.

Ah. So those are the hindrances that delayed him.

It looks like Kil is starting to get a little too close to making some friends.

.

.

.

.

.

.

After Killua, Gon, the blonde which Gon told me is named Kurapika, Tonpa, and Leorio (again, I learned this from Gon), were announced to have passed phase three, a single door opens, revealing the sunlight.

There standing outside is presumably Lippo, the third phase examiner. He congratulates all of us who have passed his phase. Afterwards, he pulls out a box and tells each of us to pull out a card in the order that we finished the tower. Following Hanzo, I reach my hand into the hole and pull out a card and inspect it. I take note of the small beep I heard when I pulled the card out. 

Once everyone has gotten a card, Lippo instructs us to remove the sticker. The number on my card reads 198. I immediately look up from my card to see who has the corresponding tag number. It’s the Amori brother with the blue shirt. While everyone else removes their stickers, the blacklist hunter then goes to tell us that the number on our cards is who we will be hunting in the next phase. 

He also mentions how each card’s number has been recorded.

I remove my tag instantly and keep it in one of the pockets of my knife holster for the time being. I’ll hide it somewhere else once I’m out of everyone’s sight. Everyone except Hisoka follows actions similar to mine. It makes me wonder which unfortunate soul got Hisoka as a target. 

Hopefully it isn’t Killua or Gon. 

Lippo points at the island in the horizon that is called Zevil Island, saying that that’s where the fourth phase will take place.

One more phase to go after this.

.

.

.

The boat ride to Zevil island is calm and full of thick tension among the remaining applicants. I see Killua and Gon off to the side, probably talking about their targets. I would approach them, but I decide against it. I should let them be, lest I want to induce Illumi to lecture me for hours about how I shouldn’t encourage Killua to have friends. 

He knows very well that I want Killua to be able to have some friends. 

I can’t go speak to Illumi and I definitely don’t want to be anywhere near Hisoka. I instead decide to find my own space near the front of the boat.

“Sorry for getting in your bubble.” I hear behind me. 

Number 294, Hanzo. Why is he here? “Just don’t do it again.”

Unfortunately for me, Hanzo takes a place right next to me. I scooch a little away. From the corner of my eye, I see Illumi eying us. Why is he always nearby? He knows I can take care of myself. I’ve beat him multiple times during one-on-one battles back at home. Does he sense something in Hanzo that could potentially be dangerous?

I take another glance at the man. I too, sense something that he has great potential for Nen and that he’s more than he lets on, but it shouldn’t be enough to threaten me or Illumi.

“So now you’re checking me out?” He smirks.

I scoff. “In your dreams.” I take a sip of water from my canteen. “I don’t get why you’re still trying.”

“I’m trying because there’s always a chance.”

“You don’t have a chance.”

Hanzo glares. “And why do you say that?”

“It’s none of your business.” A familiar tension builds up near my heart.

Focus Cesa. 

“You could at least tell me why my efforts are being exhausted.” Hanzo moves closer. I move a foot away.

“If you survive the next phase, I’ll enlighten you.”

Hanzo smiles.“Challenge accepted.”

.

.

.

From a distance, I stalk my target who’s doing a very poor job at stalking Killua. At least he’ll have next year. Killua wouldn’t kill him. He’s not enough of a threat for Killua to have to resort to overly violent means. It would waste too much energy.

It’s been about two days since this phase has started. Nothing much has happened except the occasional screams from different parts of the island. 

Suddenly, I see the other two Amori brothers appear next to the brother that’s attempting to stalk Killua. Some ways away I see Hanzo. Is his target one of the Amori brothers? Once Killua secures all three of the brother’s tags, I see him eye Hanzo. 

Damnit Hanzo. 

Killua goes on and fakes which tag he throws by quickly switching between tags. Hanzo then jumps towards my tag, thinking it’s the one he needs. I sigh and yell out Killua’s name before he throws the other tag. 

“Give it to me please.” I say, rubbing my temple.

“Huh? How long have you been--” Killua’s voice is full of confusion. “Isn’t this that ninja’s-- oh.”

“Mhmm.”

“The tag I threw is the tag you need, isn’t it?”

“Unfortunately. Now please give me the tag he needs so I can trade him for the one I need.”

Killua tosses me the tag. “Sorry Sis. I didn’t know.”

“I know.”

“How long were you--”

“Since two nights ago when he started following you.” I interrupt. “I’ll talk to you more later. I need to go find Hanzo before he gets too far.”

“See you later then.”

“See you later Kil.”

I jump into the trees, going in the direction that Killua threw my target’s badge. Unfortunately for me, after jumping from tree to tree for a good six miles, I’m unable to find Hanzo. The sun is already setting, the sky turning a dark blue. I let out a sigh. I’ll resume this tomorrow. From the tree I’m in, I see a clearing with a circle of dug up dirt on the ground. 

I make my way down the tree and towards the clearing. I kick the stack of dirt. 

“Lumi.” I kneel down and poke at the dusty mound.

A few seconds later, the dirt moves around and two pale hands appear from under the dirt. A long, slim arm follows each hand and then a familiar head with long black hair pops out. 

“Sorry for waking you up.”

“Did you need something?” Illumi’s voice is hoarse. How long has he been sleeping? 

Rather than answering, I grab both of his hands and pull him out of the hole with ease. When he’s out, I brush off the loose dirt covering his body. His wide eyes follow wherever my hands go. His eyes hold obvious confusion, but he makes no effort to stop my actions.

“Did something happen Cesa?” 

“Just need a friend. And I feel safer with you around.” I place my hands on his shoulder, pushing him down, making him sit. I follow him down and lay my head on his lap. His leg muscles tense up under me. “Sorry. I just need some affection.”

“Affection? Cesa, what happened?”

I ignore his second question. Nothing actually happened, stress is just building and I need someone to hold me. “I know you’re not used to it, but do you think you could pat my head?” 

I’m almost sure that Illumi will just push me off until I see his arm move and arrive on top of my hair. Illumi is surprisingly gentle as he runs his hands through my hair. 

“I miss your old hair color, but you look nice with black.” He says.

I hum in response.

Before I had joined the Zoldyck family and before I had met Jaana, the affection I was given by my old guardian was far from sparse. She had given me hugs or quick forehead kisses whenever I had successfully killed or whenever I learned something with Nen. But despite the constant affection I was given, the punishments I were given overlooked all the hugs and kisses.

If I failed to kill or did not learn something quick enough, I would be starved for weeks or given hundreds of lashes with a whip. It had gotten to the point where I just worked myself to near death with Nen training and killed whoever my guardian had told me to without remorse. 

Fortunately for me, a few months after I had started becoming a scythe of death, Jaana finally came into my life.

Then Illumi came next. 

To me it was weird that Zoldyck children didn't get much affection from their parents. The butlers were the ones who took care of the children. When I got older, and had spent a few more years with the Zoldycks, I came to understand that that’s just how this family of assassins works. 

I don’t exactly have a place to judge them because I joined their family on my own accord.

“Cesa, come closer.”

I jolt up at Illumi’s words. “What?”

Illumi’s hands circle my torso and pull me up so that I’m sitting on his lap. His arms snake around my waist, trying to hug me closer despite my body already being close enough for me to be able to feel his heartbeat. 

“Are you okay Lumi?” He buries his head in the crook of my shoulder.

“Sleep.” 

“Okay.”

He must've been sleeping for a while in that hole. And I woke him up. Oops.

His grip on me tightens. 

I’ve hugged Illumi before. Most of those hugs were during sparring sessions when he and I were training how to get out of any type of hold whether it be being choked or it being a simple hug. The other hugs were unintentional ones where I had just been a bit too happy about receiving something or doing well on a job.

Even then, those hugs weren’t as intimate as the one I share with Illumi right now. It vaguely reminds me of the times I’ve cuddled with Hisoka after a long day and night of working.

Thoughts of Hisoka plague my mind as my eyes begin to droop. An ache fills my heart.

Hisoka...

.

.

.

.

.

.

“What a shame, it isn’t the tag I need.”

My eyes stare to the east, the direction two of my unripe fruits went. Bloodlust flows throughout my body. A familiar tingle of arousal can be felt throughout my abs.

“Ahh… why did they have to get me so excited? This is the fifth time I’ve gotten so  _ hard _ during this exam.” My bloodlust comes out in strong waves. I shudder from the pleasure of my violent thoughts. Mmm… I should stay here for the night. My bloodlust is a very dead give away of my presence. I must be patient. 

Morning isn’t too far away, I can control myself until then.

That reminds me, I haven’t seen Aces ever since this phase started. Then again, I stayed in one place for the first three days. Perhaps I was expecting that she’d “accidentally” come across me sitting under that tree. That would’ve played out perfectly for me. But alas, that didn’t happen. 

You can’t expect everything to come falling straight into your hands. It’s also  **_much_ ** more rewarding when you do things yourself.

Tomorrow, my hunt for Aces begins.

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.

.

Right as I slice the man with my cards, I see the hook grab my tag. By the time the man hits the floor, my tag is already in the hands of Gon. How sneaky this boy is. Potential. So much potential. Towers of potential to be a worthy opponent. A sinister smile takes its place.  **_Patience, patience._ **

My arm twitches.  **_Patience_ ** .

The small boy disappears back into the bushes and runs once he realizes his accomplishment. I notice someone going after him. Gon must be his target. I can’t have my fruit fail. If I save him, he’ll have to owe me later on. It’ll be the perfect set up to have him fight me sometime in the future.

I’ll be able to see if he’s ripe enough to pick by then.

I pick up the sound of a body hitting the dirt. Ah. I should go save Gon. Following the direction of the sound, I spot a man wearing a red hat and sunglasses taking both Gon’s and my tag from his paralyzed body. My target spouts out some words along the lines of “you did well,” and “there were so many times that I could’ve taken your tag.” I’m not sure what he’s saying to Gon. 

And I couldn’t care less as his tag number is 384. Looks like he’s my apparent target. Too bad, so sad.

After his little speech, he turns and walks away with confidence.

Let’s ruin his day, shall we?

When he’s a good distance away from Gon, I swiftly bring out a card and watch as blood flies around his body. 

“Hmm.. that was too easy. “ I muse. 

I dig around his body for his tag, finding it in a hidden pocket in his jacket. From his open hand, I grab the two other tags. With my other hand, I pick up the body of the man and drag it with me back to Gon. He’ll be so pleasantly surprised when I give him his tag back along with mine. 

I already have five points with the tag Illumi gave me and the tag from the bird-like man. Finding one more victim shouldn’t be too hard. 

I already have an idea of who’s tag I wish to steal next.

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.

_ “Lumi, put the fucking beeswax in your ear!” Cesa yelled. _

_ “You don’t have to shout at me.” I quickly dug out two blobs of beeswax from the container Cesa threw at me.  _

_ The instant both blobs are into my ears, the muffled sound of Cesa’s voice fills the empty space. I could barely hear the words, but I could make out the melody. Clear and pristine. Flows like a stream in the woods. Enticing. So welcoming that you just want to hear this lovely voice forever.  _

_ The scent in the air, roses and vanilla.  _

_ My eyes wandered around Cesa’s body. Has she always been this… alluring?  _

_ “ILLUMI!” Someone screamed. The singing stopped. _

_ My thoughts are immediately interrupted by my body being pushed down to the ground. What was that for? It was then that I noticed the faint tendrils of pink surrounding my body. What is this? _

_ Who did this? I heard someone faintly titter. I pinpointed the noise and easily captured them. They were shivering. _

_ “What did you do to me.” I pressed a needle against their head and removed the beeswax from my left ear. “Speak. Now.” _

_ “I-it’s my N-Nen abilit-ty.” They choked out. _

_ “What is your ability?” _

_ “It’s c-called ‘Lover’s High’.”  _

_ “And what does it do.” I hear countless sounds of items crashing onto the floor in the other room. _

_ “It makes t-the recipient f-find the c-c-closets person of the opposite s-sex irresistable. So irresistible t-that they lose focus on what’s g-going on at that m-moment.” _

_ No wonder why I decided to eye in the middle of a mission Cesa all of a sudden.  _

_ Cesa. Why did she push me away? What happened that she had to push me away? _

_ I pushed the needle into the person’s head. Female screams can be heard from the room I had been in. _

_ Cesa. _

_. _

_. _

_. _

I jolt awake. How weird. I haven’t had a dream since I was small. 

The weight on my stomach and chest shifts a little.

Sometime during the night, Cesa had turned on her stomach and started hugging my torso. I watch her chest heave up and down from the air circulating in her lungs. A comforting sight. The sun is already up, its light rays stream through the trees in various places. 

My hand moves back to Cesa’s hair and I start caressing it again. So soft. 

The events in my dream run through my mind. It’s obvious what I was dreaming of. I just haven’t a clue as to why my mind decided to run through that memory again. The dream was of a mission that Cesa and I had taken four months ago. The client had provided us poor information about our targets and their abilities. 

Which is why Cesa’s knee had gotten completely broken and shattered, which leads to why she’s only been able to help me obtain information for missions lately. It was my fault that I had been distracted by that person’s ability. It was my fault that Cesa got hurt that day. If I had been more observant, Cesa wouldn’t have had to stop working the job she adores for four months. 

But I wonder, what would Cesa and Hisoka’s relationship have looked like if Cesa hadn’t gotten injured? Would something have changed or would the timeline of events stay the same. Did Cesa’s injury have anything to do with the timeline? Did it have immense significance in the events that have taken place?

I won’t get to ever know if things would be different.

That's the unfortunate beauty of life.

You never get to redo anything if it involves playing with life and death.


	8. Jaana and Feitan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Jaana and Feitan met so many years ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This part was written by my friend @the_good_gangster who Jaana is based off of. I hope you enjoy reading!!

My father, A single star sea hunter, and I were on a mission. I wasn't a hunter at the time but I was better than some of the one star hunters, so my father took me with him instead of taking someone with a license. Our mission was to find this boy around the same age as me, that killed a group of teenagers in Yorknew City. My father only took the job because of the pay. One of these teenagers was a very wealthy man's daughter, he wanted revenge and my father wanted money. I on the other hand just wanted some experience, I didn't care about those kids or the money at all. The boy was described to have long black hair tied up into a topknot, around six feet tall, wearing a traditional Japanese style robe with his ankles tied up, he also had a long sword on the left side of his hip. No one with that description was found in any of the Hunter Associations records, or any records at all, which made me think of a place that a friend had told me about not long ago.

“ Meteor City.” is all I said with a straight faced expression. It was obvious that a few of the others were confused on how I knew about this place or had no idea where this place is, not even my father knew about this place. “How do you know about this place? Where the hell is this place? I never heard of it, are you hiding something from me Jaana?” My father had a short temper and ever since my mother died he has been more protective of me, he needed to know all my friends, who I was with all the time, basically everything that a 16 almost 17 year old girl should be able to keep to herself. 

“Calm down Dad, I heard about it from a friend.”

“Which friend? What kind of friends do you have that would know about-” I cut him off right there, if I didn’t we would never find this kid 

“Does it really matter right now?! We’re in the middle of trying to find some serial killer in the making that we have no info about, and the only other lead that we have besides what he fucking looks like, is a place where less than half you hunters know about but you’re worried about who told me?! Focus!” I normally don't get angry this quick. I have learned to not let emotion get in the way of things, I don't know what was different today. I quickly realized that this was my dad and part of the Hunter Association and pulled myself together.

“Kid I don’t know who you think you're talking to like that! You were taught to respect me and your elders! You do not raise your voice at me! Do you understand?”

“Yes father, I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t let it happen again. We’ll talk about this later.”

Talk about it? Talk about what? My little outburst? Your little outburst? Whatever he’s my father, and what he says goes.

“Meteor City, what do you know about this place? And Morel, your daughter is right, stay focused” Mr.Netero is somewhat of a peacekeeper, especially when it came to my father. He got into an argument with anyone he could. It was a little funny seeing my dad getting talked down to by Mr.Netero.

“Right, as I was saying, Meteor City is a junkyard-like town where outcasts live to be separated by the rest of society. People who live there do not exist on any known records and the city itself is known to very few people. Meteor City is over five hundred years old. Due to this Meteor City is a hot spot for criminals, assassins and hitmen that are not tracked. The mafia community has tight bonds with people there, their bonds are so tight to the point where they will risk their own lives for each other. A lot of them are strong nen users and there are very few nen masters there too. That's all I know but I think that boy might be a paid assassin working over there and was paid to take out one of those girls but killed all of them instead”

My father and Mr.Netero were taken back by how much information I knew about this place. I have been training since I was four years old so I thought that this was nothing compared to what I could do. “ Then that's where you will be going!” my father crossed his arms and looked down at me

“Okay Jaana, lets go-”

“Oh no not you Morel, just Jaana” When my father and I heard that we were both confused and my father was of course mad about Mr.Netero’s decision 

“What?!” My father and I said in unison

“Her? Just her? Alone? To an unknown junkyard town with powerful nen users and assassins? Sir I don't think this the best decision”

“Now now Morel, She may not be a hunter but she definitely more than qualified to take this mission alone”

“Sir, at least let me stay close by or be there just in case. She may be powerful, but she is only sixteen”

“Morrel, if you could promise to me that you will not interfere with what she is doing, if she gets cornered, then you can help her” Mr.Netero looked at me with his usual, wholesome, oldman smile. I was surprised at first but after a few seconds I calmed down and accepted it. I didn't know what to say so I lightly hummed in response. 

_ This was going to be interesting. _

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“That girl was kinda hot though” was the first thing that came to mind after the job was done. I was walking back to my home in Meteor City. Of course I didn't live alone but i didn't live with my parents either. I lived with my friends, Feitan and Uvogin. Feitan was sitting on a short stack of rocks waiting for me, he had his usual emotionless expression . Uvogin was probably out finding something to eat somewhere or training, he wasn't the best with Nen right now so i would have yelled at him for not training if he was here.

“Oh c’mon you're not happy to see me Feitan? Im hurt.”

Feitan rolled his eyes at me as he stood up from his spot and walked over to me, he put his hands in his pockets and asked 

“Did you get the money or not?” 

“Oh no! I forgot it, I killed the girl and ran off without getting my money before. Of course I got the money, I'm not an amateur” Me and Feitan always clashed, but we were friends and it was fun arguing with this shortstack. 

“Your money? Who got you this job in the first place?”

“Uh duh me!” I put my hands behind my head and started walking away from the small angry boy

“You know for a fact that it was me, half of that money should go to-”

“Oh I'm sorry but who’s older here?”

Feitan rolled his eyes and put his hands in his pocket as he started to walk next to me, he then said in an annoyed tone.

“You.”

“Who’s taller and stronger?”

“You, I will be stronger than you soon”

“Sure you will kid”

“One day Ill be saving you dumbass from some kid that decides to fight you”

“Keep dreaming!”

We continued our walk to find Uvogin and go home. All of a sudden Feitan stopped in his tracks, he wasn't looking straight, he was looking to the side of us. I didn't feel anyone's presence nearby so I thought he was just looking at some animal over that way, wait, the fuck am i saying there are no animals here. I looked over at him, curious of what he was so mesmerized by. “Fei, hurry your ass up nothings there!”

_ I hope. _

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This is ridiculous! How could Isaac send my daughter to handle this guy. Yes she is powerful and she knows a lot more about self control than I do, well self control when it comes to emotions but when it comes to her bloodlust she has only been practicing that for a year now so I don't know exactly what will happen with her. “ Do you remember what the boy looks like?!” I said as we ran next to each other...kinda. Whenever there was some wooded area we had to run through, Jaana would insist on running and jumping in and through the trees, I couldn't be mad at her, she's a kid, she needs to have a little fun once in a while. “Yes Sir, I remember you don't have to ask me every few seconds!” She could be so hard headed sometimes! I was just making sure she knew before she just rushed into the head first. She probably likes this because of me, I trained her since she was four years old, she didn't get a normal childhood, what am I saying? It was for the best anyways, she needed to be stronger, stronger than me and stronger than her mother. I shouldn't feel bad for this, she is one of the strongest people know but she could be stronger. She struggles with Nen still but we will work on that after this. “Jaana! Get out of the trees! You need to stay focused!” 

“Why should I!”

“Because I said so! You're going to fall!”

“Sure I will!”

This girl needs to start taking my orders more seriously, she used to take all my orders to heart, like it was the last thing she would ever need to know in life. Now that she's sixteen she thinks she's some kind of adult. I looked up at her in the tree and like I guess she was about to fall, the branch she was on. I quickly ran over to her and tried to catch her hoping that she didn't hit the ground, but she did, she hit it hard. “Jaana! This is why I told you to stay out of those damn tree’s.”

“Oh yea, I just fell from a tree that's taller than freaking Heavens Arena and I'm just fine don't worry father!”

“This tree is shorter than Heavens Arena don't worry but I know you're fine, you wouldn't let a little fall from a tree stop you now would you?”

Jaana sighed in what sounded like defeat “No father, you trained me better than that.”

I stood up while reaching a hand to my daughter, once she was up we were back on the run to Meteor City. Yes I know that was a little harsh but she needs to understand that being a hunter isn't about fun and games, it's about being strong enough to handle anything. At least that's what my beliefs are. Besides a little tough love never hurt anyone too bad. 

_ Your mother would be so proud of you. _

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“We’re here” My father and I stood about three meters away from the entrance of Meteor City. I used zetsu before I walked in thinking that using it would be the best thing because no one could feel my presence but before I walked away my father grabbed my arm and I looked back at him obviously annoyed that he stopped me.

“Didn't Mr. Netero say, don't interfere?”

“Don't use Zetsu, like you said the majority of people here are strong nen users, if you pass by someone they will find it suspicious that they can’t sense your presence” I thought for a moment, that's actually a good idea. I nod to my father and turn my Zetsu off.

“Okay you can let go of me now, I want to get this done as soon as possible.” Once he released me from his grasp I started walking towards Meteor City. I was nervous about a lot of things, a lot was going on in my mind but I stayed calm and kept an eye out for this kid.

A minute or two pass by and I still haven't seen this guy. This was harder than I thought, good thing this guy is six feet tall, that makes things a little easier. I wonder how much he was paid to take this girl out, she didn't look like she was worth that much anyways. I look around a little more hoping I don't look too out of place and I finally find my prey, walking alone with his hand folded behind his head. This was going to be so easy, Mr.Netero never said if he wanted him alive or dead so I guess I could do whatever I wanted to this guy.

I picked up my pace a little so I could hide behind what looks like a large pile of rock, this guy is going to be so easy to get, I might actually be able to spare his life. Of course killing isn't something I just enjoy but if it comes down to me having to, I will not hesitate to do so. I wonder how strong he is, how long this fight will last, what his abilities are, how angry will he get? My bloodlust is getting stronger than usual but I'm not surprised, I'm in a town of some of the most powerful Nen users and I have the chance to take care of one. As I watched the tall structured man go on about his business, my eyes got a little darker, my eyes were glued onto him, I looked like a lion getting ready to attack its prey. Just as my bloodlust was getting stronger I saw a boy looking in my direction, did he sense my bloodlust? Probably. At least my target didn't notice.

He might not be a problem, he looks not much taller than me so if he did try something I can handle him. I decided to just use my pure strength to take on this guy, I don't want to use my Nen abilities unless I have to.

_ This is going to be easy. _

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“Who the hell is that?” I look over to the direction that I'm feeling this bloodlust, I've never felt this one before. Can’t be anyone new to Meteor City, only few people know of this place and would be insane to willingly move here anyways, I hear Nobunaga trying to get me to continue walking with him “Feitan are you listening to me!? We need to go come on!” I look back at him with a very annoyed expression “Can you not feel that?”

“Feel what?” Nobunaga slowly walked over to me with his arms crossed, it was clear that he was annoyed with me but I really didn't care.

“Bloodlust. I feel it”

“Who’s?”

“I dont know thats why im concerned, it coming from over there” I point in to the rocks I was sitting on beforehand 

“It's probably that one Churro guy or something, he was oozing bloodlust when we first saw him” This idiot started walking over to the area I had mentioned. Even if it is that guy, he can't fight him, I heard he was a specialist. Im not stupid so I decide to stay put and let him handle this.

“Hey! Is someone over here?! Come out!” Nobunaga gets even closer to the area, I see him hold on to his sword which I assume is because he finally felt what I was feeling. It could be that Chrollo guy, but why would he be watching us? Maybe I am just over reacting. In the middle of my thought Nobunaga jumps back and gets into his stance.

_ It’s a girl? _

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Seriously? This is why Feitan was freaking out? Some little girl? “Hey cutie, a pretty girl like yourself shouldn't be around here.” I feel her bloodlust but I doubt that she is any kind of threat. The girl is about the same height as Feitan, maybe a little shorter, she's wearing green army like pants, a black crop top that hugs her body just right. Maybe I could hit it off with her. She looks me in the eyes and she doesn't look too happy. There's a stone cold look with little to no emotion on her face, I can't seem to read her. 

“Come on not even a smile?”

“No time.” She says as she takes a few steps closer to me. What is this? Is she trying to scare me? Is she into me?

“No time? What are we doing next” I say with a small smirk on my face. As I'm thinking that we're breaking the ice and actually getting somewhere, her foot comes in contact with my face. What the hell was that about?

“What was that about?!”

“I'm just doing my job”

“Job? What job?” I sprung up from the ground and backed away. That kick caught me off guard but I will not let it happen again.

“ That’s none of your business”

“Whatever, you’re dead!”

I pull my sword and dash at the girl, in the blink of an eye she's flipping over me using my shoulder as support. When she pushed off of me I was back on the ground. There is no way this little girl is stronger than me, just based on her height she could pass as a twelve year old. 

She’s obviously fast based on what I've seen so far but I wish I knew exactly how strong she was and what her abilities, that would make everything a whole lot easier. Maybe she can't use nen as well as I can, she just kicked me a few times. For the sake of me not wanting to get beat by a girl and for my own confidence i'll go with that.

How should I handle this? I can't rush at her like I did before, I could dash behind her and try hitting her like that and if that does work Im just going to start blindly swinging my sword at her, hoping to hit her. 

I dash at her and before she could hit me or push off of me, I swiftly dash behind her and swing my sword, I hit her which is a start but i was hoping to kill her with that swing. She is a few meters in front of me but she's not moving, she's just standing there. That's a pretty big gash I left on her back, It obviously cut her shirt which could be bad. What if her shirt falls off? I wouldn't mind of course but what if she thinks I'm some kind of pervert that intended to cut off her shirt to see… everything under that. 

She’s still not moving, she is standing there with less than half a shirt on and bleeding out. Is she just going to let this happen? I could kill her right here and right now. Funny I guess she is just speed and a few kicks.

I knew this would be easy.

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Did he hit me? Did he actually get me with that damn sword? I feel it, it hurts but at the same time I don't feel it. Why is he not taking this chance to kill me? I'm standing here giving him what he wanted in the first place so why isn't he doing anything? Why am I not doing anything? Okay stop thinking for one second, if he's not going to take the chance I will. I told myself that I wouldn't use any nen abilities for this fight unless I really need to, he’s definitely strong and hasn't used any Nen abilities either but for now he’s not worth me using that kind of energy.

Dashing behind him could be my best bet right now, I can't just walk up to him and kick him like I did before. Let's just try the dash and chop, his eyes might not be fast enough to keep up with me if I go now. If things go south I still don't have to use Nen, I could just use Ko.

After making up my mind, I bolt behind him without him expecting it, I strike him in the back of his neck then swiftly kick the back of his legs so he will fall to the ground, which he did. That worked out better than I had hoped. All I need to do is at least knock him out so I could get him back without a fight. As he is slowly getting up I lift my leg up as high as could, with a little help from Ko, I send my foot down into his back. I was aiming for his head but I guess this is okay, I’ll just do it again. He’s gone. I was in my head for too long. 

“Where the hell did he-” My words are quickly cut off by a foot coming in contact with my back. How did I not see him move?! I'm launched into the rocks I was hiding behind before. He did that without using Ko, or any advanced kind of skill. I know I'm strong but I can't kick someone nine meteors back with no effort. I underestimated this guy.

Come on just get up. It's not that hard. Why does it hurt so bad? I remember the large gash across my back that he gave me earlier, I must've been losing blood this whole time, and I used Motlon Swords which drains more of my energy. I need to get up! Get the hell up Jaana! You're not weak! I slowly start to get up but while I'm getting up he kicks me in the stomach, sending me into the air a few meters. When I land, I land on my back, which makes everything worse. I pissed him off didn't I? 

“Not so strong and powerful now huh?” I look in his direction seeing a smirk on his face.

“You masculinity is so fragile you need to beat up a girl who almost knocks you out? Pathetic.” A smirk crawls onto my face, his on the other hand leaves and is replaced with an angry expression. He walked up to me and kicked me in the nose, luckily not launching me as far as before but it was still a little distance. I didn't land on my back or my stomach, I managed to land on my elbows and one knee. My nose is bleeding, along with my back.

I didn't come here to get beat up by some guy that killed some girl that I don't care about. I could end this, I don't have to fight him. I dont have the strength to fight. Before I can finish my thoughts he stomps on my back and pushes me all the way down to the ground, he’s putting so much force on me, did I make him that mad? Moments like this I wish I had my father’s smoke right now, I could make some soldiers or something and get him off of me. The next thing I feel is the back of his sword hitting the back of my head causes more blood to come from my head. I obviously can't fight back, I just want him to stop.

“Last words pretty?” He asked me with his blade ready to impale me 

“Please..don’t kill me, I didn’t come here to fight you, I don't even want to be here. Just spare me please” I hated the feeling of begging for my life but what else was I supposed to do?

“You think I would spare you just because you asked nicely? Funny and cute I see.” How is he going to flirt with a girl he’s about to kill? He really is just some pathetic low life. A pathetic low life that's about to kill me. Great. If this really is the end, then Ill see you again mother. Goodbye father, goodbye Cesa.

Hang on who is that? Don’t tell me he’s the one that's going to kill me instead, he’s cute but he’s so small. What happened to that force on my back? I lift my head, no blade. Both boys are no longer in sight. All I hear is muffled yelling.

Did this guy just save my life?

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“Nobunaga stop. You’ve done enough” I knocked his sword to the side and restricted his arm so he cant do anymore damage to the girl on the floor, I also cover his mouth so I don't have to listen to his annoying bickering for any longer.

“You don't need to kill her, she hit you a few times and you decide to kill her? You really are pathetic.” He’s trying to yell at me but I have no idea what he is trying to say, I also don't care what he’s trying to say. I look back at the girl, she on her hands and knees trying to bring herself back up. Why do I feel bad for her? I dont know of her, I know of her father but not her.

She looks at me and I quickly look away from her, not wanting her to see my face. “ Are you alright?” I ask, why did I ask that? I don't care. 

“I'm fine, just a few bruises, blood loss and half a shirt.” I look back at her, does she really only have half of a shirt? After looking back at nobunaga again, she definitely needs a new shirt, too many perverts around her for her to be seen like that. I feel Nobunaga smile on my hand, my hands wet.

“You disgust me.” I move my hand away from his mouth and rub it on him. 

“Why do you care what happens to her?” He sounds mad but he’s smiling still which I find confusing but whatever. I don't answer his question, I dont want to answer his question because its a stupid question.

I let go of him once I think he’s calm enough to not try to kill her and I walk over to the girl to help her up, she’s so weak right now. She’s bleeding out very quickly.

“Here let me help you.” She looked confused but she accepted my help taking my hand as I pulled her up and let her body rest on mine. She’s shorter than me, that's new. Everyone I know is taller than me unless they're a child. I look back seeing Nobunaga grab his sword off of the floor and look at me and the girl, I give him a glare and screams ‘Dont say anything or do anything or I will break you’ which he caught on to. 

I walk her back to Nobunaga, Uvogin and I place her to get her patched up. And a new shirt. On our journey the girl's weight gets heavier, she’s probably close to passing out, I am not about to drag her there so I lift her up onto my back to make things easier for the both of us.

“Why?” I hear her voice, she sounds weak and tired. I thought she was already out cold.

“Why what?”

“Why did you help me? Isn't that guy your friend?”

“You can say that, I only helped because it was unfair. He was acting purley on anger and hate.”

“So? I was too weak anyways, you should've let him kill me, it's not like you actually care or know who I am.”

“I know who you are.” I figured it out a little while ago, his hair is silver, just like a famous hunter that goes by the name of Morel I think. The hair is the only thing though, her skin complexion is a bit darker than his and she is very short. Morel, from what i’ve seen, is almost seven feet tall. Maybe i’ll ask her about it later.

“How the hell would you know who I am?”

“I just have a feeling, that's all there is to it.” 

“Whatever.” She rests her head on the back of mine, which is very uncomfortable but not unbearable. She’s probably falling asleep now. Nobunaga finally catches up with his hand on his sword, he’s probably still mad at her. Or he’s mad at me for helping.

“She’s out cold.” 

“I know.” I don't bother looking over at him, I know he is smiling. 

“Why did you want to help her? You're never nice, to anyone, not even Uvogin and I. So why her?” 

“I have my reasons.” I don't have a solid reason for helping her, maybe it was because she’s around the same age as me, or maybe because of who I think her father is. Either way it’s none of his business. 

There is a part of me that says that I should've just let her be killed, she is definitely strong and could have taken out Nobunaga. But she thought she was so strong that she didn't need to use anything but a few kicks and a few punches, that's just being cocky. Doesn't matter now, we're almost back home so there is no point in killing her. 

After about five minutes we finally made it and I can finally put this girl down. I set her down where me, Nobunaga and Uvogin usually sleep. We don't have any professional medical supplies or anything but we have the basics. Bandages and alcohol is hopefully all she will need. I laid her down on her stomach to make this easier, I don't know exactly how much alcohol to put on her back but i put enough to cover the entire wound, I then sit her up on the wall so i can wrap a bandage around her waist but before I do I ask Nobunaga to leave so he does get all hyper over seeing a half naked women. He can't even respect a woman he almost killed. Once he is gone, I take off what's left of her shirt and wrap the wound up, covering up her breast, her stomach and the wound all together. 

All I have to give her right now is the sweater I'm wearing, so I take off the sweater and lay it on top of her. She can put it on herself when she wakes up. For now, I should ask Nobunaga a few questions and try to figure out why she came here in the first place.

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My eyes slowly start to flutter open “Where am I?” I remember some of what happened. I was fighting the man that killed those girls, he almost killed me then what happened? That other guy, did he help me? Once my eyes are open enough to see my surroundings I look to my left and see him, the guy that saved me. Why is he still here? What happened to that sweater he was wearing?

“I see you're finally waking up.” He says in a soft but raspy voice.

“Where am I? What happened to the other guy?”

“You're in a safe place, don't worry, and Nobunaga is outside.” So that's his name, Nobunaga. I slowly start to sit up, I feel something falling off of me, is this his sweater? MY shirts gone, I swiftly put his sweater on and zip it up. 

“Where is my shirt?”

“It’s gone.” 

“I can tell it's gone smart ass, where is it exactly?”

“Nobunaga ripped it, you can't wear it anymore. That’s why you have my sweater on.”

I lean back on the wall behind me, not having the strength right now to stand up, he looks at me while he is loosely hugging his knees, he looks so calm and angry at the same time. 

“What?” I say in a stern voice trying to say that i don't want to be messed with right now

“Nothing. I'm just thinking.”

“Then stop looking at me like that.” I look away from him and cross my arms. He looks away as well. I'm so pathetic, I was laying there begging for my life from a boy that I know basically nothing about, got too full of myself thinking I was all that. I was saved by another boy that I don't know, he probably pitied me. I would've just let myself die, I was too weak to defend myself, how am I supposed to be a hunter if I can’t do a simple task like that. I thought my father trained me better than this, he would be so disappointed in me. More than he already is, what would he tell me? He would probably tell me i'm not ready to become a hunter yet or that i'm still too weak. He would never let me go on another mission like this, I'm one of the only people that still has a dad that is also a hunter, which is sad but true. 

What would my mother say about this? She never pushed me as much as my father does but she still helped me in my training, she always said I was going to be a great hunter one day. I let her down, I couldnt handle this one stupid mission, I could never become a real hunter. Of course while Im think all of this I have a somewhat straight face, I don't want this guy to pity me anymore than he already does.

“You came here to arrest Nobunaga, right?” He interrupted my thoughts and broke the silence in the room.

“Yea.” I sighed in defeat, at this point I don't care if anyone knows what I was trying to do or not. 

“I'm assuming because he killed a very wealthy man's daughter?”

“Yea, I don't know who the girl is, nor do I care for her. My main reason for coming was for some experience with the hunter association.”

“So you are Morel’s daughter.” I hum softly instead of actually saying yes. I don't feel like talking about him right now.

“I had a feeling, especially with the silver hair.” I respond with another soft hum. I'm trying my best to show signs that I don't want to talk about him at the moment. He gets the hint and looks away from me. I guess it’s my turn to ask questions.

“Why did you help me?”

“I already answered that.”

“What’s your real reason for helping me” He’s not answering me because he doesn't want to admit I looked weak and helpless. 

“You pity me, don't you?”

“No, I don’t pity you. I don’t have a clear reason why I help, It just felt right.” Now I'm the one who’s quiet, I don’t really know how to respond but at least he was telling the truth. I hug my knees again and rest on the wall for a little longer, before he says something again.

“Feitan. My name is Feitan Porter by the way.”

“Jaana Mackernasey. Nice to meet you Feitan.”

“Nice to meet you too Jaana.” I give him a small smile and he returns it with his own soft kinda forced but genuine smile, it's kinda cute but it fades quickly. 

I think I have the energy to stand and walk now so I guess it's time to take my leave. I release my legs and push myself up to my feet, as i'm doing this slowly so I don't fall. He watches me and stands with me, he looks short from a distance but he’s taller than me,of course. Everyone is taller than me, I hate it sometimes. My father is six feet and ten inches, I wish I took after my dad when it comes to height.

Once I'm up on my feet I put my hands in the pockets of his sweater “Do you want this back?”

“Take it, I'll be fine. Besides your shirtless and I'm sure you don't want your father seeing you like that.”

“Thanks, I guess.”

“Don’t thank me, it's no problem.” He looks kinda nervous and he won't look at me. Weird but im not going to think to deep into it 

“You're really strong, you know? I would appreciate it if you spared me some time.” 

“Strong? I got beat by your little friend, what makes you think I’m strong?” Him and I make our way out of the small room and outside.

“You are strong I can tell, you’re one of the first people that got Nobunaga to the ground in less than a few seconds, you weren't even using Nen.” 

“Is that so? That’s surprising, considering how slow he was.” While we were having our conversation, Nobunaga and some other really big hairy guy with an afro were standing right there listening to what we were talking about.

“I'm not slow!”

“If you say so.” A smirk crawls on my face when I look over at him to see his angry expression and the other guy laughing loudly at my comment.

Feitan and I continue walking and talking while he walks me a few meters before the entrance of Meteor City. I agreed to spare him and he gave me his phone number, I put his name in as ‘Small goth boy’ with a few emoji’s after it. We talk about my parents, and what I do, how long I've been learning Nen and other things like that. We also talked about his friends, which I found out that the big guy's name is Uvogin. I didn't tell him my mom was dead, I just said that she’s never home, just to avoid talking about her anymore than I have to.

“So what do you think I should tell my father?”

“You killed him, easy as that. As you know none of us have any known records anywhere so if you tell him you killed him and he goes out for another job, they couldn't suspect him nor could they find him if they did.”

“That's actually a great idea. You're smart, you know that?”

“Im aware.” He gives me a small smirk and I smile back at him. Even though we have only been talking for about an hour, I would consider us good acquaintances. Maybe we could be friends one day. I’ll tell my father that my shirt ripped in the fight and I found the hoodie lying around.

“I guess it’s time for me to say goodbye.”

“Yeah, I guess it is. Goodbye Janna.”

“Goodbye Feitan.” 

After we both say our goodbyes I walk away and look for my father, or at least his pipe laying next to him. I wish I didn't have to leave, it was nice talking to someone my age that didn't have me there as some kind of body guard for once.

After about fifthteen minutes I found my Dad laying on a tree with his large pipe next to him. I know it looks like he doesn't notice me but he knows my aura way to well

“Took you long enough kid, where's the target?” My Dad says in a stern voice, he pushes off the tree and swings his pipe over his shoulder.

“He’s dead.”

“You killed him? I knew you would be able to control your bloodlust.”

“Hey, I only killed him because if I didnt he would have killed me first.”

“As long as he’s taken out our mission is done, where did you get the sweater?”

“It was laying on the floor and my shirt ripped, so I had no choice but to take it”

“Whatever kid lets just head back and inform Netero that he’s taken care of.”

“Yes sir!” I say with a small giggle 

“You’re in a better mode than you were before.” 

“I'm just happy about my first mission.”

“Well, I'm proud of you kid.” He put his free hand on the top of my head and pushed my head a little, it hurt a little because of the small wound on my forehead.

“Hey! That hurt you know?”

He chuckles and continues walking, I catch up with him and put my hands in the pockets of Feitan's sweater.

Thank you Feitan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading!!  
> School has started so I'll be updating whenever I'm able to.


	9. Side Story: Let's Share

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just Hisoka and Illumi talking about forming a polyamourus relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had fun writing this version of Illumi. :D
> 
> So I kinda have a whole list of "Random Things about Characters" for my story so that I don't forget them. Apparently I had written that "Hisoka asked Illumi jokingly to form a polyamourous relationship with him."
> 
> Now we're here.

“You know, it wouldn’t be too bad to date you and Cesa.”

My glass of red wine stops short before reaching my mouth. “What?”

Hisoka says many things, but that’s the last thing I’d expect out of his mouth. I know very well how possessive he gets over Cesa. The last man who tried to buy her a drink got a card lodged in his throat. 

What he’s implying however, doesn’t sound too bad. I don’t like sharing, but if it’s Hisoka I should be able to bear it. 

“You know, like a polyamourous relationship between you, me, and Cesa.”

“You don’t mind sharing?” 

The magician stares me down and drains the rest of his vodka. One of the bartenders immediately refills his empty glass. “I’ll take the larger portion, of course.”

Of course he’d want to have more time with her.

I take a sip of my wine. “Of Cesa’s time, correct?” 

“You already have more time with her than I do.”

I can’t argue with him about that. A lot of Cesa’s time is dedicated to work. She works in a cafe from morning to evening. Then once the shadows take over the ground and the moon is high in the sky, she works with me in assassinations. She rarely gets or takes breaks. 

How much time does Hisoka get with her in the first place?

“Anyways, that was a joke. I’d feel even more alone since the both of you are never around.”

“Ah. Okay.” 

I feel Hisoka’s eyes studying me, trying to figure out my tone of voice. “You seem… disappointed.”

That’s because I wouldn’t mind dating both Hisoka and Cesa. “Do I?”

“Yes. You do.”

I bore my dead eyes into Hisoka’s bright honey-colored ones. “Maybe I am disappointed.”

Our intense eye contact continues before Hisoka bursts out in laughter. “I didn’t think that you’re capable of making jokes, Illumi.”

“It wasn’t a joke.”

“What?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed!! Thank you for reading!!


	10. Side Story: Nice to Meet You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Machi and Cesa met.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy!!

“You need to be careful next time.” I stuff my needles back into my drawstring bag. “It’s annoying to always have to patch you up.”

“Yet you’re still here.~” 

I sigh. Someone knocks on the door. Hisoka jumps up from his seat and speedily makes his way to the door. A girl with bright white hair and periwinkle eyes greets Hisoka with a kiss. My eyes widen when he reciprocates. 

That’s new.

The girl pulls back with a smile adorned on her face. Without warning, her flat palm comes into contact with Hisoka’s cheek. The sound of the slap echoes around the room. I decide that I like this girl. She’s bold. And she slapped Hisoka.

“You’re a fucking idiot, Gummy.” Gummy? I wonder...

“My sweet Diamond, I have no idea what you’re talking about. I also don’t see why you’re complaining, I won.” 

“You could’ve won faster if you had given the first hit.” The girl inspects her long, maroon nails. “But I know you like fighting which is why you drew out the battle in the first place.”

“Bingo, my Diamond.~”

Based on the way Hisoka talks to her, I can only conclude that she’s a new “toy” of his. However, he doesn’t usually allow himself to reciprocate things like kisses. I’ve never heard him give nicknames like the ones he’s giving her. Maybe they’re a thing? But Hisoka doesn’t like commitment. In fact, I don’t think he even knows what commitment is. 

Or maybe he does?

All of a sudden, the girl’s gaze turns towards me. She smiles. “You must be Machi.” 

“You know who I am?”

The girl pushes past Hisoka, “Hisoka mentions you every-so-often.” 

Hisoka only gives me a knowing smirk. I roll my eyes. “My name is Ancesa, but I prefer to be called Cesa. Nice to meet you.”

“I’m glad to see I’m not the only woman who’s not afraid to punch some sense into Hisoka.” I allow a small smile to stay on my face.

“He’s a handful. I have no idea how you’ve been able to deal with him for the past two years.” She pouts.

Yes, I have infinite respect for her. She gets it. “I know, all he talks about are--”

“His abilities.” She finishes. “Bungee gum has the properties of both rubber and gum. I’ve heard that line more than I need to.”

“Excuse me--” Hisoka protests.

“Gummy, no. Let me speak.”

Perhaps having another friend wouldn’t be too bad.


	11. Hello Cesa

_ “Mama? Here’s the arm you wanted.” The little girl, as casual as can be, handed the woman a bloodied severed arm. The girl’s eyes reflected how she felt, empty and soulless. _

_ The woman examined the body part from the thickness of the nails to the drying blood. “Excellent job my child!” She pulled the girl into a suffocating hug. “It’s perfect!”  _

_ The small girl was filled with joy. A faint smile and a tinge of happiness filled her. If she continued to do good on the chores her mother would send her on, her mother would have no need to hit her with the whip again. She would have no need to slap the small girl until the girl’s cheeks were numb to the impact of the woman’s hand.  _

_ The small girl’s thoughts were all connected to the one thought of,  _ **_if I kill, Mama will praise me._ **

_ So the little girl did just that. She killed countless amounts and groups of people whenever her mother told her to. No amount of screaming or pleading stopped the girl from fulfilling her missions for her mother. She found this chore more interesting than the dolls that her mother threw at her. _

_ But after a while, the small girl only felt more emptiness. No quantity of praise from her mother was able to fill the hole in the girl’s heart that was made by the death the little girl ensued. Even if the blood of her victims splatter perfectly across the walls, even if the eyes of her victims held pure fear even after death, even if the girl’s interest in murder increased, the hole in her hear never faded away. _

_ Then, on a day where the small girl had failed to finish her mission, a blinding light from the darkness surrounding the girl appeared in the form of someone trying to help her up, despite the fact that the girl had been stalking them for the past few days. _

_ Taking that hand was Cesa’s first step out of the friendless darkness her mother kept her in. _

.

.

.

.

.

.

I wake up to the smell of lavender and cedarwood. I’m very aware of the weight caressing my head. The warmth I feel surrounding me reminds me that I’m in the arms of someone I trust.

“Good morning.” Illumi’s smooth voice echoes in my ears.

“Morning.” I attempt to get up, however Illumi only tightens his arms around my figure. 

“Lumi, I still have to get my six ponts.”

“You haven’t gotten your target’s badge yet?”

“Someone got a hold of it before I could.” I shift my body between Illumi’s arms so that I’m now facing towards him while still being on his lap.

Illumi pushes some of my hair out of my face. “I trust that you’ll be able to get your six points soon.”

The sounds of grass being stepped on distract me from Illumi’s fingers cupping my cheek. I listen intently to the noises until the feeling of something whizzing past my ears distracts me and pulls my gaze away from Illumi. I hear a grunt of pain followed by the sound of something falling onto the ground.

“Go get the badge before someone else does.” Illumi remarks. If I was looking at him, I’m sure that there would be something resembling a smirk on his face.

“You always have to show off how you’re so accurate with your needles.” I flick away some bugs and pieces of dirt.

“I wasn’t showing off.” 

“Mhmm, sure you weren’t.” I poke his cheek, “Close your eyes for a little bit.”

Thankfully, he doesn’t question me. While his eyes are closed, I check to make sure no blood has bled through anywhere. There are many hemotrophic butterflies on this island that could give away my position if someone were to follow them. The majority of the remaining applicants here are male and I do not want anyone questioning why butterflies are fluttering around my ass.

“You can open your eyes again.” 

He turns his head after opening his eyes. “I threw it southwest about thirty-six meters away.”

Taking that information, I bolt away, leaving Illumi in a small cloud of dust. It definitely wasn’t to spite him for showing off how perfect he can be. A few minutes pass until I arrive at the body of the person Illumi’s needle pierced. I dig around his body and find that his tag is hidden in a pocket on the inside of his coat. 

“Number thirty-four. Too bad for him.” 

Dammit not him. Anyone but him. 

“Hello there Aces.~” Hisoka’s voice vibrates up against my ear. I already know that there’s probably a card on the back of my neck.

“Hisoka, am I your target?”

He laughs. His long, slim fingers wrap around the back of my neck, forcefully pulling me to lay my head on his chest. My eyes lock with his. “Of course not. I already have my target’s badge and now I want yours.”

“You can’t have it.” 

“You amuse me, Aces. You remind me of someone who ran away from me some weeks ago. I miss them more than I should admit.” His hands go to reach inside my shirt. The necklace. I completely forgot about it. The feeling of his fingers running down my skin sends a shiver down my spine. “Oh? What’s this?”

His fingers wrap around the cord of the piece of jewelry and pulls it out into the open. The reddish-pink gem shimmers in the natural light. Hisoka inspects it all the way around. His nails trace the rose engraved in the gold of the back of the pendant.

“Gummy…” 

“What is it, my Dear Darling  **_Cesa_ ** ?” My name flicks off of Hisoka’s lips, almost like he’s using it as a taunt. He removes the card from my neck.

“Please leave me alone.”

I give him a  **hard** strike to his crotch with my elbow and shove him away. Anger from the memories from a month ago flood into my mind. While he’s still distracted by the pain in his lower regions, I activate my Ren. Hisoka shudders at the bloodlust being directed towards him. Dammit. He’s definitely getting off on this. Before I can blink, Hisoka’s fist appears between my eyes. 

I block his punch with my arms, the force of his punch knocks me back some ways away.. His leg comes into contact with my back the second I come to a stop. A small spurt of blood hacks out of me. I tumble on the ground until something on my back keeps me from moving or getting up. Almost like I’m glued to the ground. Hisoka’s bungee gum.

He chuckles, “My Diamond, I was hoping you’d put up more of a fight, or at least use your nen abilities.” He uses more Bungee Gum around my arms “chain” me to the ground. The yellow scarf around his hips flutters in the wind. It almost looks like the scarf I’d worn during my first fight against Hisoka. “You look absolutely stunning with your new hair and eye color by the way.”

“Fuck off Hisoka.” Despite knowing that it’s useless, I try to struggle against my bindings.

“My Diamond, do you mind telling me why you were trying to hide from me?” He climbs on top of me, his face mere centimeters away from mine.

“I don’t know, why don’t you tell me why I came home to someone else’s lingerie littered on the floor and the sounds of you having fun with some cheap whore?!”

Hisoka’s confident expression melts down into a look of despair. “My Diamond--”

“Shut up and let me go.”

He does the opposite. He takes the scarf around his hips and throws it on my face. “My Diamond, please stay quiet. Someone--”

Panic fills my cells. I don’t need anyone to see me in such a compromising position.  _ “Come towards me, oh helpless sailor. The land isn’t what it used to be.” _

Hisoka’s movements come to a stop.  _ “Come lay in my lap, and I’ll hold you close. I’ll hold you in my arms and rock you like a baby.” _

I can’t risk the chance that the person may be Killua, Gon or even Illumi. My nen ability, Deathly Lullaby is an ability that allows me to sing a song that can either kill someone or send them to sleep depending on if I use the word sleep or death for the last lyric of the song. Anyone who hears it will be affected.

If I’m just trying to send someone to sleep, I simply just sing how long I want them to sleep. 

For this situation, I’ll send them to sleep. I can’t have Killua, Gon, or Lumi dying. Gon, for the sake of Killua of course. 

_ “So come to me, oh helpless sailor. Your  _ **_sleep_ ** _ will come easy once you’re pulled into the vast blue sea. You will stay under the water and sleep by my side until 9:45.” _

Hisoka’s weight plops onto my body and the feeling and sounds of even breathing assure me that he’s asleep. The bungee gum on my back, around my wrists, and around my legs disappear. I push his heavily muscular body off of mine and exhale in relief.

Memories of certain activities in our old bedroom flash through my mind as I re-run the current turn of events in my mind.

**Nope. Not now.**

I remove the yellow scarf Hisoka had dropped on my face. In the corner of the cloth is the initials C.Q. embroidered with pink thread. So this is my scarf. Why does he have it with him here of all places? 

Nevermind that, I should check his body for tags.

.

.

.

“WHERE THE HELL DID HE PUT HIS TAGS?” I huff out.

I looked  _ everywhere _ from his fluffy red hair to his unconventional shoes, and still couldn’t find any tags on his body. This is a waste of time. I should just check that other person to see if it’s Killua, Illumi, or Gon. I’ll protect them until it’s nine forty-five. If it’s not them, I’ll just steal the poor victim’s tag. 

Using En, I locate the other person who fell victim to my song about thirteen meters away. I decide to take the scarf with me after making sure that there’s no tracking devices or bungee gum attached to it.

The poor victim that heard my song is Hanzo. How convenient. He’s face planted into the ground, snoring louder than Milluki does. 

After I take my target’s tag and trade him with his, I head back towards the clearing where Illumi hopefully still sits. I dig in one of the pockets on my knife holster and pull out a pocket watch. 9:37 it reads. 

Eight minutes left until Hisoka and Hanzo awaken. 

.

.

.

.

.

.

I run my fingers through my long black hair. I’m starting to get worried about Cesa. She’s able to take care of herself, but she should’ve came back ten minutes ago. It’s not that hard to pick up a badge from a dead body. The person I hit wasn’t too far. Did something happen to her? Did she run into Hisoka?

I jolt up. Hisoka. 

Needles appear between my fingers. My legs move before I can think. My overwhelming bloodlust is the least of my concern. Cesa, I’m coming. I’ll be there soon. 

“I’ll be there so--” I skid to a stop, harshly colliding with the person in front of me. The needles in my hand, now stuck to the side of the clumsy girl. She falls to the ground upon impact. I see large amounts of aura flowing from her body. The girl’s fear and bloodlust is awfully easy to detect.

“Lumi.” The girl’s hand goes to her side, my needles unevenly stick out of her body.

I hurt Cesa. “Ancesa, stay as still as you can.” She lifts her palm up to stop me.

“Lumi, I can handle a couple of your needles.” Pain flashes in her eyes as she pulls one out and hands it to me. A stream of blood trickles out of her wound. “See?”

“At least let me move you someplace safe instead of staying here out in the open.”

She gives me a pained smile. “I don’t have a choice in this, do I?”

I scoop her up into my arms, being as careful as I can. The heart in my chest beats harder against my ribcage. “We both know that it’s the smarter idea to find some cover.”

“Whatever you say, Lumi.” Cesa winces from the slight movement.

Cesa drifts back to sleep. With each step I take, I look down to make sure that she’s still alive and breathing. She’s endured things much worse than my needles, but I can’t help but worry. They’re my needles, I know how fatal they can be. 

The shelter I find is a large-based tree with part of its trunk hollowed out. After laying Cesa down on a patch of leaves, I gather some water from a close-by river with the empty water bottle she had on her holster. By the time I get back, Cesa is awake, but unmoving. The rise and fall of her chest calms my anxiety. I remove the rest of my needles from her side with ease, and wrap a piece of the scarf that she was holding around her abdomen.

I wet the other piece of scarf and use it to clean off the dirt on Cesa’s body. 

“I ran into Hisoka. He knows it’s me.” 

I knew it. “You sent him to sleep.”

“How’d you know?” Her eyes go wide with surprise.

“Just a hunch.” I inspect her body. “In the end, I was the one to hurt you the most.”

“Lumi, you need to stop blaming yourself for that.”

Earlier this year, Cesa and I had taken a job that resulted in Cesa’s near death. I had been too focused on the target to be able to notice a surprise attack from an unsuspecting predator. If it wasn’t for Killua’s interference, Cesa wouldn’t be here today. It isn’t easy for someone to sing or use Nen when they’re being choked to death.

“Rest. You need it.”

Cesa attempts to get up. “Lumi--”

I push her down. “Rest. Don’t make me pin you to the ground.”

“Okay, okay.”

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.

“Jaana, how nice of you to stop by.” Netero takes a long sip from his tea cup. “Is there something you need?”

“Nothing is needed at the moment, Chairman. I was just curious about this year’s batch of potential hunters.” I take a seat on the cushion that Beans happily places down.

A couple minutes of peaceful silence takes its place while the Chairman and I enjoy our tea and the scenery beyond the window. My thoughts drift to my Father who is probably back out at sea for his next mission. Always at the sea and barely on land. I wouldn’t be surprised if my Father turned into a merman.

My thoughts then fill with memories of Feitan, my little goth boy. I’ll be heading back home soon. I should check on Cesa before I go back. I haven’t seen that titan in a while.

Netero coughs, startling me. He probably wants to know why I’m back so soon.

“We finished our mission easily and surprisingly quickly. The Moon Eels weren’t as bad as I thought they would be.” I offer.

“The moon had just started a new cycle when you and Morel began your mission. Moon Eels depend on the moon for a tremendous amount of their power.”

“I see.”

“Miss Jaana.”

I lock eyes with Netero. “Yes Chairman?”

“I have a feeling something will happen during the underground auction in York New. I need you to be there just in case.”

York New’s underground auctions? Hunters like me don’t usually deal with things like this. I’m an Endangered Beast Hunter for god’s sake. I hunt the beasts that people are killing to extinction and make sure that they don’t become extinct by placing them in nature reserves or zoos. 

They usually stay there until I’m able to find a proper place where they can thrive without the fear of humans. But most of the time, I’m unable to find places like that. Humans have taken control of almost every part of the world. And unfortunately, a good chunk of the human population don’t care if animals go extinct. 

Nonetheless, I was already planning on being in York New for the Southernpiece Auction. “Of course. But why me? I’m an Endangered Beast Hunter.”

“Just ‘cause.”

There he goes again. Always being cryptic with his words. Even Dad doesn’t understand the Chairman. I don’t think anyone except Ging and Pariston have the slightest idea of what goes on in Netero’s mind.

A knock on the door catches my attention. It’s Secretary Beans “Chairman? The fourth phase is about to come to an end.” 

“Has it been a week already?” Netero chuckles. “How fast time flies. Jaana, would you like to watch the final phase?”

I smirk. “It’s what I came here to do.”

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.

.

_ “Hello. Are you okay?” My right hand stays extended to the young girl in front of me. _

_ The girl only continued to stare at my hand. I sigh. “You’re that girl right? Ancesa?” _

_ She flinches. “I know that you’ve been following me for a while.” _

_ This girl has been following me around for the past few days. I don’t sense any bloodlust or any malice behind her actions. Even now, all I see and feel is fear. Her eyes show the exact opposite of fear. They’re empty. Empty and lonely.  _

_ “You’re an assassin. Your mother forced you to continue killing. You kill because it makes your mother happy.”  _

_ Renditions of this girl’s face could possibly look like are on wanted posters all over the city. No one knows what she looks like except for her glowing eyes.. My Father and I were tasked to find her by Netero. He said that this little girl has no reason to be killing. He put great emphasis on how there must be someone behind the strings attached to the girl’s arms.  _

_ Through observation, I found that the girl smiles while she throws her knives, but that smile doesn’t reach her eyes.  _

_ The girl scoffs. “Some of what you said is right, and some of what you said is wrong. I kill because it’s interesting and fun to watch the light of someone’s light slowly die out.” _

_ “Then why haven’t you killed me yet?” _

_ “You punched someone.” Her eyes drop down to her hands. _

_ What? “Yes I have, what’s so significant about that?” _

_ “You did it without killing them.” _

_ This poor girl doesn’t know self control. All she knows is how to deliver a deathly blow. “I can teach you how to do that.” _

_ For the first time since I’ve started observing her, the smile on her lips reaches her beautiful light-colored eyes.  _

_ “My name is Jaana.” _

_ She finally takes the hand I’ve kept outreached throughout our whole conversation. _

_ “My name is Ancesa, but I prefer to be called Cesa.” _

_ I smile. “Nice to meet you, Cesa.” _

_. _

_. _

_. _

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.

My eyes are wide and focused on the bloodstains on Cesa’s side. What happened to her after she left me to look for Hanzo? Where did she get that scarf? Hisoka comes into my peripheral vision. The yellow scarf that was around his waist is gone.

Please, don’t tell me that she got wounded and Hisoka was the one to bandage her with his scarf.

I know Cesa, I don’t think she’d allow Hisoka to come close to her after what happened a month ago. She’s the type of person who prefers to have her alone time after an argument. Every argument I’ve seen between her and Illumi have resulted in her leaving the mountain for a couple of days to a few weeks.

She would return after Illumi would call her, asking her to come home. 

Cesa is the only person Illumi has never used force on. Mom and Dad would always comment on this, and Illumi’s reasoning for his behavior with Cesa is; “If I’m not nice to her, she’ll hate me and try to disappear to the best of her ability.”

After he says that, Mom, Dad, and Grandfather would wait for him to exit the room, then proceed to have a nice conversation about how Illumi definitely has a crush on Cesa. Illumi can’t fool any of us.

So it’s only right to assume that Cesa got injured in a fight with Hisoka, but won in the overall fight. She took the scarf because she needed something to wrap her wounds with, and maybe Illumi found her and helped her? Cesa’s holding a yellow pin, so she must’ve run into him.

What the hell did she get herself into the past few days?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiiii, I hope you all are having a great week!! School sucks, but you know. That's that.


	12. Just for fun: IMPOSTER (Among Us AU)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've been playing Among Us WAYYYYY too much lately. So here's a little short story just for fun.
> 
> This is also in Cesa's POV

“I SAW YOU VENT!” Feitan yells at Phinks.

“YOU COULD JUST BE SAYING THAT BECAUSE YOU’RE IMPOSTER AND YOU WANT ME OUT.” Phinks retorts.

Off to the side is Machi, Pakunoda, and I, talking about how fast we should be swiping our ID cards in admin. How fast should you be swiping your ID card in admin? Do you just swipe it as fast as you would when ripping a band-aid off, or should you swipe it at the speed that a snail travels?

Franklin watches the exchange between Feitan and Phink begrudgingly, “So… no one’s died?”

“Nope.” Shizuku plays with her pet… alien, blocking out the sounds of shouting.

“Then why was this meeting even called in the first place?”

Chrollo and Hisoka have already voted, and so have Machi, Pakunoda, and I. There isn’t enough evidence on who the imposter could be. 

“Hisoka is pretty damn sus though.” Phinks suddenly states.

“What have I done?” Hisoka blankly stares at the man with no eyebrows.

“You’re just really sus Hisoka. I don’t like the way you’re not saying anything.”

The voting timer runs out before anything else can be said.

The group splits off to go do their respective tasks, until the alarm goes off for lights.

I smirk. The knife in my hand glints, looks like Pakunoda has made things a lot more easier for us. The glint in my eyes calls for danger. Let’s go find my first victim.


	13. Side Story: Hisoka.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hisoka's surpressed thoughts.

He shouldn’t be this angry about this.

He shouldn’t be this sad about this.

What the hell is going on in his head?

No, it’s not his head, it’s his heart.

Fucking hell. He should’ve never met you, but he did.

He met you and now he doesn’t wanna ever let you go.

Unfortunately for him, he’s going to lose the one toy he cherishes the most.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was so short! I've been a little busy with school and I'm trying to write a bit more so I don't have to worry too much about writing for a little bit.
> 
> Hope you guys have a good week!!


	14. Breaking Point

_ “My Diamond, you’re not making this easy for me.” I dab the cold, wet towel against her forehead. _

_ “I can take care of myself Hisoka. All I have to do is go on another mission and--” _

_ “No. You’re staying here. Machi said that you should stay in bed.” _

_ What an idiot this woman is. She gets sick with the flu and her remedy for it is to go on another mission? Granted, I have no idea what I’m doing, but Machi does and will hopefully be here soon. I’m currently following what Machi said to do for now before her arrival.  _

_ I’ve never gotten sick in my life. Viruses fear my immune system.  _

_ But, how does one so… strong be taken down by a simple sickness? _

_ Cesa groans. “What is it this time, Diamond?” _

_ Her eyes are closed, she’s deep in sleep. Her eyebrows are furrowed, her whole body is tense. What is she dreaming about?  _

_ “Darling?” I grab her hand. If possible, her body becomes more rigid. “My dear Diamond, what is playing in your head that causes you to be afraid of someone holding your hand?” _

_ I hear a knock on the door. It must be Machi.  _

_ “I don’t have time to mess around Hisoka, where is Cesa?” Machi pushes past me. _

_ “Oh, come on Machi.~” I coo. She lours. “First door upstairs to the left.”  _

_ To my surprise, Cesa is awake and gives our guest a quiet hello. I watch Machi do a thorough inspection of my Diamond and the type of symptoms she has. She quickly comes to the conclusion that Cesa should be fine after a couple days of  _ **_complete_ ** _ rest. She also jokes that I should probably bungee gum Cesa to the bed to prevent her from sneaking away.  _

_ She also tells me that I should probably get my darling Diamond to take a short bath while she prepares some soup for the girl. She says that it should help Cesa stop complaining about how icky and dirty her body feels. My Darling jumps out of bed and towards the bathroom with delight at Machi’s words. _

_. _

_. _

_. _

_ “My Diamond, what were you dreaming about earlier?” I stay in my position, leaning against the doorway. Cesa wraps a towel around her wet body. _

_ “Hmm? What do you mean?” _

_ She must not remember the dream. It would be pointless to continue questioning her about things she doesn’t remember. Especially if it’s a dream. Cesa doesn’t tend to remember her dreams unless it’s one about a woman and a baby. Even then, her memory about those dreams are still hazy. _

_ “Ignore me, Darling. Machi should be done with that soup by now. Go eat some.” _

_ She pecks me on the cheek. “You should eat too. You barely eat.”  _

_ “I’ll be down soon. I need to fix the sheets.” _

_ “I love you, Gummy.” She saunters down the stairs. _

_ That was out of nowhere. “Love you too, Diamond.” _

_. _

_. _

_. _

_. _

_. _

_. _

I watch Cesa carefully wrap the cloth bandages Beans had provided for her abdomen injury. Ever since we got back on the boat, Cesa refused to disclose any details about what happened after she had left me. She has stayed totally silent until a few minutes ago when Beans came to give her the bandages.

“Thank you.” Is what she mumbled out.

From my peripheral vision, I see Hanzo and Hisoka eyeing my adoptive older sister. Both of them have worried expressions spread across their faces. Weird. Hisoka doesn’t seem like the type to worry about an ex, or anyone in general. And Hanzo… seems like he only cares about himself passing this exam.

Then again, that’s what most of us remaining applicants care about. 

“Killua.” My vision snaps back to Cesa.

“Yes?” I plop down next to her. “Do you need something?”

She seems deep in thought. “I’ll be going home for a month to visit after this.”

“I thought you were going to stay with your friend?” 

“I just want to visit, Kil. It’s been a while.”

The last time she was home was for my birthday about seven months ago. For a gift, she had given me twenty-six boxes full of chocolate robots. That was the only gift I genuinely enjoyed. Cesa is the only one besides my grandfather who remembers my favourite snacks and other things.

“I might not be home.”

She looks at me for the first time in the past few hours. “That’s okay. I’m just letting you know.”

Right before I can ask once more about whatever happened, I see Gon, Leorio, and Kurapika making their way towards us. 

“Killuaaa!” Gon yells while happily waving his arm.

“Go ahead, Kil.” I look back at my sister, she’s chewing on one of the kiwis I left for her.

I know better than to ask her if she’s sure, she’ll only get annoyed if I do. I say a quick goodbye before I head towards the trio. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Illumi as Gittarackur beckoning Cesa towards a more private area on the boat. 

At least I know she’s going to be safe.

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“Let me help.” My hands shake around as I reach for the bandages in Cesa’s hand.

She does nothing to stop my actions. I take the bandages and finish what Cesa had started. Her breathing is slow and shallow. She’s trying to conserve her energy for whatever the last phase will be. 

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_ “Do you need me to carry you?”  _

_ Cesa pulled her shirt over her head. “I should be okay, Lumi.” She stumbled immediately after speaking. She turned to see my judging stare“Can I stay on your back?” _

_ I turned my back towards her, and kneeled down. “Get on.” _

_ When we’re a couple miles away from the meeting point, I layed Cesa onto the ground and changed my appearance back to Gittarackur. I picked up the sounds of other applicants making their way towards the clearing. Cesa twirled one of my needles between her fingers. How did she get a hold of that? _

_ “I’ll wait here for a couple of minutes, go ahead to the clearing.” She said. _

_ “I should be the one saying that.” I go to grab the needle, only for my hand to be playfully slapped away. _

_ “Go.”  _

_ “But my needle--” _

_ She pushed my leg in the direction of the clearing. “Go!” _

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I hold a couple strands of Cesa’s hair. “Sweet girl…”

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I stare hard at the board of who fights who for our final phase. I’m either going against Hisoka or Kurapika. I inwardly scream. Knowing Hisoka, he’ll want a rematch after what happened earlier. He always wants a rematch if he doesn’t win. He’ll purposely allow Kurapika to win so that he can fight me. I look towards the boy, he’s eyes are closed shut. 

On another note, I feel five sets of eyes on me. Two sets from Killua and Gon, one from Illumi, another from Hanzo, and lastly, of course, an excited set of eyes from Hisoka. To avoid making eye contact with the magician, I look back at the board to see who Killua or Illumi may go up against. My eyes widen, Killua is quite possibly going up against Illumi.

My head whips in his direction, he looks absolutely frightened. Before I can give him a consoling stare, a soft moan pulls my attention to the man standing to the left of me.

Despite my efforts to avoid him, Hisoka stands right next to me. I can tell that he’s having trouble keeping his  _ excitement _ contained. His fingers keep twitching every time I move around or whenever my eyes unintentionally look his way. Every time I shift my weight between my feet, every time I go to check my nails, every time I put a strand of my hair behind my head, Hisoka’s fingers twitch towards the cards he has hidden in his pants.

Illumi can sense my unease. Whenever Hisoka’s fingers spasm, I can feel Illumi’s eyes continuously dart towards my figure. He doesn’t need to worry so much, he knows I know better than to show if I’m affected by Hisoka’s actions. 

The final phase of the exam starts off with Gon and Hanzo’s battle. I know that everyone here is desperate to get their Hunter License, but Gon doesn’t have to go through all this pain. Hanzo, on the other hand, I’m going to beat him once this exam is over for hurting Killua’s first ever friend.

The tension in the room only grows thicker each time blood can be seen. Gon’s friends, Leorio and Kurapika, look about ready to hammer down Hanzo. Hisoka surprisingly has turned away from the action and closed his eyes. He’s worried about the boy. Killua seems to be inwardly monologuing about how Gon can’t win this fight and how he should just resign.

Three hours pass by before Hanzo reveals a long sword from underneath his bandages. 

“But before we result to such things, I want to hear you surrender.” He says after swinging the weapon around.

Silence follows his words.

“Well that’s a problem!” Gon unexpectedly shouts out.

Of course it’s a problem-- My mouth hangs wide open at the young boy’s outburst.

“I don’t want to have my legs cut off, but I don’t want to surrender either!” The tension in the room dissipates, and is replaced by muffled laughter from everyone in the room.

The look on Hanzo’s face proves to me that Gon is the clear winner of this battle. Hanzo’s not going to be able to recover his serious demeanor for the rest of the match.

Alas, Killua doesn’t seem to be able to get a grasp of what just happened and why. He has been taught and is still being conditioned by Illumi’s needles that if there’s a stronger opponent, he should run away. Gon on the other hand, is persevering despite his lack of strength. Killua wouldn’t be able to understand this situation.

I need to tell Illumi to remove the needle. Killua could die if it’s kept in there. I would gladly remove the needle myself, but I wasn’t present when it was inserted. I had regrettably been out on a mission when it was inserted. The reason why I know it’s there is because Lumi told me about it.

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_ “Lumi, that sounds horrible.” I had yelled at him for the first time ever since I had met him. In my defense, it wasn’t the best news to come home to. In my opinion, Killua would be much stronger if he didn’t have any fear. _

_ “It’s what is needed so that Kil can become the best assassin.” Illumi had yet to look at me.  _

_ “It can also kill him.”  _

_ It was then when Illumi had finally turned back and looked me in the eye. I remember being appalled at the sight of slight anger in his eyes. The feeling of unneeded bloodlust that had accompanied his stare furthered my anger. _

_ “Killua will not be killed if he runs away.” _

_ I had nothing else to say to him. Anything else I said would’ve angered him further, and I was already exhausted from the mission. I didn’t need to battle someone who’s able to counter my abilities. _

_ “Please do not speak to me, or come near me.”  _

_ “What?” _

_ “I will be taking my leave now.” _

_ “Cesa.” I obviously ignored him. _

_ “Ancesa.” _

_ He had followed me throughout the whole mansion, calling my name. It wasn’t until Silva had interfered that I was able to go into the garden to think for a bit without Illumi following behind. I had left the estate for three weeks before I was called back to go on a mission with Illumi, which was when I had finally spoken to him again. _

_ There was no apology, but he did give me a hairpin that I had been wanting for a while. Illumi’s too prideful to ever say sorry, instead, he apologises by giving me something he knows I want.  _

_ It’s not as good as the actual words, but I’ve always accepted his apology attempts. _

_. _

_. _

_. _

In the end, Gon won his battle with Hanzo surrendering and Gon unfortunately getting knocked out. That took a lot longer than it should have.

The next couple battles after Hisoka and Kurapika’s were none of interest to me. Hisoka’s battle against Kurapika wasn’t as bloody as the one before, but a good amount of fighting was present. However, after a while, Hisoka halted in his actions and whispered something into the younger boy’s ear. Afterward, he proclaimed that he lost the battle, leaving Kurapika to take in whatever words were said.

What did he say to the boy?

My heart feels like it’s about to jump out of my chest by the time Hanzo and Pokkle’s battle ends. Our resident magician however, is ecstatic. His eyes hold the excitement you’d see a young child have when they receive a new toy. Memories of our first battle in Heaven’s Arena flash through my mind.

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_ “You’re holding out a lot longer than I thought you would.” I’d said, dodging another high kick. _

_ “You can’t get me if I’m constantly moving, Diamond.” He’d retorted, his words startling me yet again. _

_ It'd been seven minutes since our battle had begun. Hisoka had taken the liberty of kicking me down the second the match started. He’s been keeping my hands busy with constant punches and kicks, which stops me from using my main Nen ability Sailor’s Demise.  _

_ I would love to use Deathly Lullaby, but I don’t think I can start my song quick enough after placing my hands over his ears.  _

_ “What are you thinking about, Darling?~” He purred.  _

_ “Huh?” I feel my legs give out under me, and I'm pinned to the ground . Shit. I throw out a knife conjure about four behind Hisoka. I keep them as sedative knives instead of poison-tipped ones. I don’t feel like killing today. _

_ While Hisoka’s attention is on me, I release the knives and listen to the sound of flesh being pierced. Surprise flashed through the magician’s eyes before being replaced by joy. The smirk on his face sent a strange feeling towards my stomach. Seeing his features so close popped a thought into my head; _

_ This man is hot as hell. _

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_. _

_. _

Sadly, I still think that even now, after everything that has happened. 

As much as I wish to, I can’t use Nen in this battle. It would raise too many questions from the others. My abilities aren’t easy to explain to people who have yet to know the existence of Nen. It could also be counted as cheating, and I don’t want to risk it. I’ll have to do what I did best before I met Jaana; lose my control.

I keep my eyes locked with Hisoka’s while the referee speaks. I’m not sure what my expression looks like, but whatever it is causes Hisoka’s mischievous orbs to shift into something… sad.

“BEGIN!” The referee yells. I bolt towards Hisoka, only to feel his presence already behind me. 

Muscled arms wrap around my upper chest and waist, caging me against Hisoka’s body. I try to wiggle out, but my arms stay stuck to my sides. Fucking Bungee Gum. No one would notice it being used unless they used Gyo. Fuck.

“You didn’t let me finish talking earlier.” The damn magician whispers into my ear.

“I couldn’t let anyone find me with  **_you_ ** like  **_that_ ** .” I snarl. “I’m obviously okay with being associated with other murderers, but I  **never** want to be associated with someone who can’t tell their partner that they don’t want them anymore.” 

“Diamond--” His tone of voice is almost like he’s  **_hurt_ ** by my words. 

“ **Let me go, Hisoka** .”

I hear whispers from the others about what my words are implying. Specifically from Hanzo and some of Gon’s friends. What I said directly says that I am one, a murderer, which I am. Assassination isn’t a job where you bring people back to life. Two, that Hisoka is a very recent past partner of mine. And three, Hisoka cheated. 

So why does he seem hurt by what I’m saying? If anything, I should be the one in pain. 

A few seconds pass by before I realize that I can move my arms and the feeling of being pressed against another’s chest is gone. Without thinking, I grab the knives in my thigh holster and throw them in the direction of the magician. He shockingly does nothing to block or stop them. Instead, he allows them to pierce him. I immediately check to see which knives I threw in my anger.

Luckily, it’s my sedative knives. I would’ve gotten disqualified if I had used the poison-tipped ones. 

The eyes of everyone else in the room are wide, full of surprise that Hisoka went down so easily. Too easily. I wanted him to fight me. I wanted him to genuinely fight me so that I could release all the anger I’ve been harboring for the past month.

Why didn’t he fight?

The referee goes up to the magician and waves his hand in front of his eyes, which are blank. The result of my sedatives. “Hisoka?”

“Let me remove the knives. They’re tipped with sedatives.” I pull out the knives in his arms and chest, inspecting them to see how much sedative went into Hisoka’s body. Barely any. I pull my hand over his eyes to close them.

“How long does it last?”

“Barely any of the sedatives were released into his body.” I bring out a cloth and start cleaning the blood off the blades. “He’ll be out for the next hour. Guess we have to wait until he wakes up.”

“I… lose.” A distressed voice murmurs. Everyone turns to the magician. His lips move. “I…admi... defeat.”

My eyes go wider than Illumi’s. 

“YOU. THIS ISN'T YOU. IT’S NOT EVEN CLOSE. FIGHT ME. LET ME FIGHT YOU. YOU SHOULD BE KNOCKING ME DOWN, KICKING ME AROUND UNTIL EVERYTHING FINALLY BREAKS.” 

The referee holds me by my wrists. I feel two more sets of hands pulling me back towards the others. 

“LET ME GO. LET ME FORCE SOME SENSE INTO THAT PSYCHOTIC, CHEATING CLOWN.” 

I watch them drag Hisoka to another part of the room to rest until the sedatives wear off. It only furthers my anger.

“LET ME GO.” 

“Cesa…” I ignore whoever is trying to grab my attention. The grips around my body become more desperate to hold me back and away from the sleeping clown.

“LET ME FIGHT.”

A new voice, different from the only other woman here, Menchi, can be heard amongst my screams, “Ancesa… calm down. Remember, control. Control your bloodlust Cesa, you’re hurting the others!” But of course I don’t acknowledge the new voice. I’m too focused on the clown.

I’m screeching, my efforts to lose the arms holding me back are nothing but useless. My bloodlust floods out of me in intense, long waves. I don’t notice Killua creeping behind me despite the pain he feels from going through my intense bloodlust.

Without warning, a quick tap to my neck has me losing consciousness. 

“Sleep for a little bit, sister.” Is the last thing I hear before blacking out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> There's been some family things going on and school has been kicking my ass, so updates will be a lot more spaced out.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who's been reading and reminding me to take care of myself!!!
> 
> <3


	15. Is this a goodbye?

_ “Is this supposed to be a joke?” A woman shrouded in black yells at a small girl. She only looks to be about four years old. “All you have to do is focus! Are you not focusing?” _

_ “Mama--” _

_ “Don’t ‘Mama’ me!” The woman rubs the temples of her head. “You NEED to learn Nen. You’re old enough!”  _

_ Old enough? The child barely knows how to walk or talk. She’s too young to be able to learn Nen. She looks so… underfed as well. How can this woman expect this child to learn Nen when the child looks so dangerously close to starving? _

_ The woman’s expression changes. “You can’t focus because of that ‘friend’ you made, isn’t it? You want to go play with them, don’t you?” _

_ “Mama…!” The young girl looks extremely distressed. _

_ “Enough!” She picks up a smoking pipe, lights it, and shrouds it in Nen. “You will forget this friend. I can’t have them distracting you from your studies.”  _

_ Every time the woman blows out smoke from her pipe, the more the young girl’s eyes turn glassy and empty. Minutes pass by until the woman ceases her actions and places the pipe away. Once the pipe is extinguished, all the smoke in the room dissipates and the small girl snaps out of her trance. _

_ “Who are you?” The girl asks. What? _

_ “I’m your mother.” The girl brightens.  _

_ “Mama!” The woman smiles. _

_ “Yes. I am your Mama.” _

_ This woman… just wiped this poor child’s memory. All of it. Who the hell is this woman? Why is she so adamant to make this child learn Nen so early? What is going on here? I want to help that child. _

_ Suddenly, a hole opens up from under me, pulling me into a black abyss.  _

_. _

_. _

_. _

I feel complete warmth around my body, so warm and welcoming. I could stay here for an eternity, I want to stay here for an eternity. I want to stay here for an eternity, but voices interrupt my blissful peace.

“What are you doing here?” The voice sounds harsh, angry. 

“I just wanted to hold her.” I feel fingers intertwine with mine and squeeze. “What are you doing here?”

The heartbeat of the person below me pulls me to snuggle closer into their body. A hand caresses my back. I feel completely safe in the arms of this strange person. 

I hear a step. “You shouldn’t be here. It’s obvious she doesn’t want to be near you.”

The hand caressing my back halts, a second passes and the sound of something thin whips through the air. “Take another step and you’re dead.”

The other person in the room is silent before grunting and exiting the room. 

The person goes back to caressing my back, “Sleep a bit more, you need your rest.” They start to hum an unfamiliar tune. The clear notes of the song pull me back into a dreamless slumber.

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“Sleep well, my Diamond.” Cesa snores lightly after a few minutes of the beginning of my lullaby. An unfamiliar feeling arises in my chest. I decide it’s best to ignore it.

I listen to the fading footsteps of the applicant named Hanzo, the man who wishes to be able to stand by my Dear Cesa. He’s not good enough, I know that. He wouldn’t be good for my Diamond. He’d be too busy with his “ninja business” to be able to take care of my Diamond’s needs. 

My Darling shimmies up my chest a small bit. The edges of my mouth curve upwards. I’ve missed this. I want to keep her here. I have yet the slightest idea of how I would do that, but I know that’s what I want. Unfortunately, that’s not what Cesa wants. It’s very clear that she wishes to tie me to a pole over a pool of electric eels while injecting poison into my bloodstream and then have me watch her with some random man doing what I, and only I, should do to her.

Her bloodlust is very telling to what she wants to do to the people she hates. It’s something I love about her. It gives me a rush every time I feel it wash over me.

But that isn’t the only thing she does that gives me endless ecstasy. Her unwavering misplaced kindness to people is something that baffles me. The way her Nen abilities work is so that she doesn’t have to kill too many people. Unlike Illumi, sweet Cesa’s main ability, Sailor’s Demise sends her victims to sleep rather than death after she’s done controlling her victims. 

For someone who’s been killing her whole life, she’s very merciful. She’s quite frankly the opposite of Illumi. I’ve always wondered how she didn’t become as twisted as the eldest Zoldyck assassin while living with them. Even with Jaana’s teachings of control, the training the Zoldyck family put Cesa through must’ve been intense. 

But she also has a calming effect on Illumi. Illumi always has some form of leniency when it comes to her. His speech is so much more soft towards her. There are even times where I see a small ghost of a smile appear on his face when he talks to her. 

Cesa tames Illumi.

There is most definitely something there that Illumi has yet to acknowledge. Or maybe he has acknowledged it, he just doesn’t want to voice it.

Perhaps the idea of a polyamourus relationship with Cesa, Illumi, and I aren’t too far off from becoming something. 

Three  **_is_ ** a crowd. 

However, I don’t like how it’s very likely that Illumi will have more time with My Diamond than I will. I despise it. I want more of her time to be spent with me. She’s mine and was technically mine first in terms of a romantic relationship. 

How oh how do I make this work?

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“You still need to tell me why my efforts to flirt with you are worthless.” It’s only been seven minutes and thirty-two seconds since I’ve woken up from my slumber. Why is Hanzo here?

“It should’ve been obvious by what happened before I got knocked out. Who knocked me out anyway?” I swallow some noodles from a plate of food that Menchi had dropped off a few seconds prior to Hanzo’s arrival.

“Killua was the one who knocked you out. And my efforts are worthless because of some psychotic clown?” Killua? Well, he was probably worried and thought that that would be the best course of action for me and everyone else in the room. My bloodlust was out of control after all.

“Hanzo. It’s only been a month since I left Hisoka.” He stares at me with disbelief all over his face. “My relationship with Hisoka was a year long. My friendship with him has lasted two. That may not seem like a long time, but that time was very precious to me. It was precious to me, yet he ended it all in a single night.”

Hanzo starts to pace around the room, his hands pulling on his nonexistent hair. “I still can’t get past how you dated a murderer like Hisoka. You don’t seem like the type to--”

I smirk. “Who ever said I’m not a murderer myself?”

He stops in his tracks and stares at me with wide eyes.

“I’m an assassin.”

“You- you’re-- repeat that. What you just said. Repeat it.”

“I. Am. An. Assassin. I kill people for money.” I get up from the bed and lean close to Hanzo’s ear, “I kill people for money, and  **_I like it_ ** .”

“I’m leaving.” The ninja hurriedly leaves the room, slamming the door behind him. Guess he couldn’t handle the truth about my occupation. His reaction is nothing but common. It’s not every day you find out that a girl you were flirting with kills for money when the moon comes out to play.

I saunter my way back towards the bed and pick up the Hunter’s License sitting on the bedside table. I feel myself smile as I look over the card. I can finally join Jaana on missions with her dad. I can also get into almost every country. 

“Pretty, isn’t it?”

The owner of the voice leans on the frame of the door to my current room. The person leaning on my door frame is none other than my greatest friend Jaana Mackernasey.

“The color scheme isn’t the best, but yes, it’s gorgeous.”

Jaana comes towards me and wraps her arms around me in a tight hug.

“Why are you here JanJan? I thought you were on a mission?”

“I finished early and decided to pay you a quick visit.” She sighs. “It’s a good thing I did, you lost control of your bloodlust Sweets.”

“It wasn’t my fault… emotions are hard.”

She gives me a tight side hug. “I know they are Sweets. I’m just glad that Killua was there to knock you out before you caused too much damage.”

“Where is Killua?”

Jaana’s smile fades. Oh no.

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I throw down the pillow I had been hugging and beeline for the door, “I’m going to fucking murder him.”

Unfortunately, Jaana stops me, “Ah, ah, ah, no murdering. As much as I’d love for Illumi to die, I don’t want the rest of the Zoldyck family chasing your ass.” She pushes me back towards the bed, “You still have yet to tell me what Hisoka did to enrage you that much earlier.”

I stiffen up. Right.

“But, judging by what you were screaming earlier, I’m guessing he couldn’t stop himself from dancing the sideways tango with someone random fighter off the street?”

I sadly grin at Jaana’s choice of words. “Right on target.”

She sighs, giving me a look. Did something happen?

“Did something happen JanJan?”

Her face scrunches. She seems to be debating whether or not she should tell me whatever is on her mind.

“Nothing happened, I should be bringing you to the Hunter Initiation soon.” She says, staring at the watch around her arm. It was a gift from her dad a few years ago.

“Right. Initiation.” I need to know the extent to what I can do with this new licence of mine or else I might do something stupid.

“How is Shiro and Leia doing?”

Leia and Shiro, I haven’t seen them in a while. I wonder how they’re doing? The last time I saw them was the day Hisoka cheated, and that was only for a few moments before I got fired. Shiro was a coworker of mine at my old day job and Leia is his loving girlfriend that would bring him lunch every day. We had all become close after I had fought off some people Leia’s parents had sent to bring her back to their home. 

The last time I had properly hung out with them was when they introduced me to their Nen teacher, Wing. 

“I haven’t seen them ever since I left Hisoka.”

“Are you going to visit them after this?” 

Should I? They must be wondering what happened to me. I’ll visit them.

“I will, but first I need to head back to the Zoldyck’s to check on Killua.” And before that, I need to give Illumi a nice, hard, punch to his pretty little face.

Jaana holds the door open for me while I pull my shirt over my head. 

Let’s go be a Hunter.

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“I seriously don’t get what she liked about you!” Hanzo yells at Hisoka, “You’re a mess!”

Hanzo has been yelling at Hisoka for the past sixteen minutes and thirty-seven seconds about his many reasons and questions as to why Cesa and Hisoka were once together. Sadly, the rest of us passing applicants are unable to leave this room and must continue listening to Hanzo’s… annoyingly low voice.

“Out of all the people she could’ve been with, it had to be you!”

I wonder how Cesa’s doing, I visited her briefly a couple hours ago, she seemed to be deep in sleep and a lot calmer than she was yesterday. She even had the smallest of smiles ingrained on her face. Whatever she was dreaming of must’ve been a happy memory or of something she likes.

“You’re INSANE! What kind of girl in her right mind would date someone as INSANE as you?!”

I don’t think I’ve ever seen Cesa smile in her sleep unless she’s sleeping in the arms of someone she trusts. If she’s sleeping alone, she’ll be frowning, or her expression will be her regular resting face. Sometimes she sleeps in the most awkward of positions. It’s very endearing.

“LOOK at your CLOTHES! Who in their right mind would think of your clothing choice as attractive?!”

Every time I go to wake her up, I’m always welcomed by some weirdly artistic sleep position. I look forward to it. I have yet to tell her about it, but she also snores, lightly. If we ever have to sleep near each other or together during long missions, her snoring is always something that allows me to know that she’s sleeping well and is alive. It’s also adorable.

“AND YOUR WAIST! There is NO WAY in HELL that someone could have such a slim waist as you!”

Has Cesa awakened yet? Has Jaana already told her about what happened during mine and Killua’s battle? Is Cesa on her way here to yell at me about the pin in Kil’s head? Perhaps she’s having trouble finding her way here? That can’t be the case, she has Jaana with her. She’s probably still sleeping then.

“Can ANYONE in here, PLEASE TELL ME WHY ANYONE WOULD WANT TO BE WITH THIS MOnsTEr?!”

“Can you please shut up?”

Hanzo angrily stares at the person who spoke. Everyone else in the room releases a sigh of relief and turns towards the owner of the voice, who is not who we expect it to be.

“You’re that girl that came to help Cesa.” The comment comes from the boy named Pokkle.

“Jaana Mackernasey. I’ve been a Hunter for six years now.” She does a little bow. “I’ve known Cesa since she was little.”

Everyone in the room eye’s widens and starts to spit out questions to the girl about her experience being a Hunter. While they’re distracted, I see Cesa sneak in behind her and make her way towards me. 

“You are going to get an earful later when we get home.” She grumbles in my ear.

I stare down at the girl. Her expression is calm, but her eyes are filled with rage. She’s mad about what happened with Killua. My guess is that Jaana told her the events that took place after she got knocked out.

But her anger is the least of my concern right now. “You’re coming home?”

“Illumi, that’s not the point--”

“I should tell the butlers to clean up then.”

“Illu--” She pauses, “Nevermind.” She turns her attention to the group surrounding Jaana and notices Hanzo’s eyes darting from her to me and back to her then back to me.

“YOU KNOW THAT PSYCHOPATH TOO?!” He yells. 

“Please hush.” Cesa sends Hanzo a sharp glare. He jumps away, hugging his shoulders.

Against her better judgement, Cesa turns her head towards Hisoka. Ever since his fight against her, he’s distanced himself from the whole group, wearing a constant frown on his face. He’s also been strangely silent. There’s something about his expression that oozes regret and self-loathing. It’s strange to see Hisoka like this.

The closest I’ve ever seen Hisoka to being sad is when he’s bored out of his mind. 

I don’t remember how long ago it was when Cesa last visited, but I remember that it wasn’t for too long. Mother had made a great deal out of Cesa’s visit. When we got the news from Zebro that Cesa had entered the premises, Mother had been screeching to all the butlers to clean the whole house from top to bottom. To avoid that chaos, I’ll call her after the initiation.

Cesa’s glass eyes stay locked with Hisoka’s golden pearls. They seem to be communicating with some kind of eye language that only they can understand. It isn’t until Jaana approaches, that she looks away from the Magician. The windows to her soul seem emptier than when she’s slitting throats.

“Cesa, come on. It’s time for the initiation.” Jaana laces her fingers with Cesa’s and takes the lead towards the double doors. One last look towards Hisoka, and she rips off her necklace and throws it onto the ground. 

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_ “Here.” I slide the small box towards Cesa. She takes it with caution, eyeing me quizzically. _

_ She inspects the black velvet box. “And what is this?” _

_ “Why don’t you open it?” _

_ “I never know when you’re going to trick me.” She gently shakes the box. “For all I know this could be a bomb.” _

_ “I thought you trusted me!” I comically lay a hand over my heart. _

_ “Gummy, you’re the last person I would trust.”  _

_ “It’s not a bomb.” _

_ My Diamond lets out a sigh and opens the box. Her eyes widen with surprise. In the center of the box sits a bright red pendant. _

_ “Why?” _

_ “Your favourite flower, it’s a rose, right?” _

_ “Yes, it is.” _

_ A pregnant silence ensues between us. Cesa traces the rose engraved on the back of the pendant, mesmerised by the swirl of colors in the glass. _

_ “You’ve dealt with my bullshit for six months.” She giggles. “I wanted to get you a gift for lasting this long.” _

_ “It’s… pretty.” She seems uncertain. _

_ “Do you not like it?” _

_ She becomes defensive. “No, I love it. I’m just not used to receiving gifts.” _

_ “Well, you should get used to me giving you the gift of my presence.” I smirk when I feel a small kick at the back of my thigh. “I love you.” _

_ “...I…” She hesitates. _

_ “You don’t have to say it if you’re not ready, Diamond.” _

_ Her voice drops down to a whisper. “Thank you for the gift.” _

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.

I scoop the pendant off the ground.

Fucking hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I posted! School sucks. Quarantine is lonely. Writing is fun. :D  
> I really wish I could write more, but by the end of the day, I usually have really bad headaches from looking at a screen for twelve hours.
> 
> I hope you all are doing okay!
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	16. Side Story: Temptations

“You’re making this hard for me, Siren.” I rub my temples.

“What am I making hard for you?” She shuffles through the stacks of paper on the mahogany desk of our target. 

She must be joking, right? Cesa’s costume for this mission is a set of wine-colored lingerie that leaves very little to the imagination. My imagination. Infiltrating a brothel fortunately and unfortunately requires one of us to dress in… risque clothing.

“Siren… are you serious?”

She begins humming a tune that I recognize as the lullaby she’d sing to Killua, Alluka, and Kalluto when they were small. 

“Cesa.”

She sashays around to the other side of the desk, bends down to rest her elbows on the desk, and digs up some more papers from one of the drawers. My eyes wander down to a specific plush part of her body. Fuck. 

“Ancesa.” My mind is blank while my feet move themselves. I get closer and closer towards my childhood friend. “Ancesa Quainat.” Both of my hands slam down onto the smooth wood of the desk, caging her between my arms.

I can already tell that there’s a smirk on her face. “Did you need something Lumi?”

She turns her body, facing me. Her lips are only a breath away. “Is something wrong?”

“You.” My empty eyes bore into Cesa’s. “You…”

“I?~” Fuck. “Is there something you want Lumi?”

“I hate you.” Her fingers wrap around my hair, pulling me closer.

“I know.” 

Closer and closer, it feels like it takes hours before I come in contact with Cesa’s soft lips. I feel her digits tangle themselves amongst my silky hair. I groan from the friction building between my body grinding up against hers. 

She pulls back, her breathing is heavy. “Lumi, you’re too needy.”

I groan in response. “Less talk, kiss me more.”

I can feel her smile up against my lips. 

“You’re such a bad temptation, Love.” Her smile widens. Her hands travel lower, and lower, and lower, until--

.

.

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“ILLUMI!” I jolt awake. A dream?

“Lumi, you kept saying my name, are you okay?” To my side is a worried Cesa.

“I’m fine.” The ache down below says otherwise. Thankfully, my blanket is thick enough to hide something I do not wish for Cesa to see.

She searches for something beyond my eyes. The worry in her own eyes subsides after she realizes I really am okay. 

I’m okay but have a very unwanted desire to pull her into bed with me and never have her leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!  
> I'm so sorry that I haven't posted anything recently. School is a bitch.
> 
> I also wanted to say that I'll be going on a hiatus for a while. There's just a bit too much homework that's been piling up recently and I need a break from looking at a screen.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	17. Nearly Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's see how everything looks in between.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR BEING GONE FOR SO LONG. SCHOOL IS A BITCH AND SO ARE AP AND ADVANCED CLASSES.

The stillness between two people can either be filled with peace, or rage. Currently, the silence between Cesa and I is a mixture of fury, torment, and relief. 

“Are you ready to return home?”

“Illumi, shut up for a bit.” 

Jaana is off to the side, speaking with Netero about whatever mission she had been on prior to arriving here. I can see Killua’s new “friend” and his group walking around the hotel. Cesa, is… plotting my untimely demise for using my needles on Killua.

I don’t see what the problem is. Killua is simply unfit for friends and the job of being a Hunter. He has been trained and conditioned to be the perfect assassin. That’s all he could ever be, a beautiful, perfect assassin. Although she’s an assassin herself, Cesa can’t seem to understand this. 

Is it that difficult of a concept to understand?

“Excuse me, Cesa?” A little hand tugs on Cesa’s arm. Of course it’s Gon. Fortunately for him, Cesa has a soft spot for children… which is very unfortunate for me.

You can see her eyes change from anger to a pure softness. “Yes, Gon?”

“Do you know where Killua could’ve gone?”

She side-eyes me, “Illumi?”

I ignore her stare. “He probably just went back home.”

“HE WENT BACK HOME?!” She actually might kill me this time.

“Where is your home?”

“It’s--”

“I’ll bring you there.”

Now it’s my turn to wrathfully side-eye Cesa. Although nearly everyone around Kukuro Mountain knows that it’s the home of the Zoldycks, no one who has trespassed has lived to reach us. If they ever had assistance however, it would be easier than the assassination of mafia leaders. 

Cesa would be the perfect assistance.

“Really?!” Gon’s eyes light up.

Cesa’s smile is soft and sweet. How contradictory to her nature when she’s cracking the neck of her target. “Yes, I will bring you to Killua.”

“Thank you Miss… Cesa, correct?” Kurapika returns her smile.

“Correct.” She finally looks me in the eye. “Illumi, you go ahead of me.”

My hard stare has yet to waver. “...Okay.”

“Come with me.” She leads them to a door leading to the center garden of the hotel.

This is bad.

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I saunter up to Illumi, now standing alone, inspecting his arm.

“Your arm--” I start.

“Yeah, it’s broken. I can see why you like him, he’s got great potential.” Illumi’s eyes go back to the open doors.

My fingers rub over the stone of Cesa’s old pendant, now around my wrist as a bracelet. A small crack formed on the part of the stone that hit the ground first. Every time my fingers caress the stone, a pang of… something can be felt in my chest. Whatever it is, it’s horrifying. I have no idea what it is.

The smallest bit of bloodlust pulls me out of my thoughts and pulls my attention back towards Illumi.

I frown. “Gon is mine.”

“Yes, yes, I’m more than aware of your tastes.”

“Good.”

The tension between Illumi and I is thicker than bungee gum. He knows better than to pick the fruit I’ve claimed, and I know better than to mess with his family. It’s a simple agreement. We met about three years ago during one of his missions. He needed help, and I complied. Ever since then, If either of us ever need a favor, the other complies. A nice little system we have.

“So, you just got dumped.”

“Please spare me from whatever bullshit is about to come out of your mouth.”

He shifts his weight. “Are you hurt?”

My eyes widen, “I’m offended Illumi.” I cross my arms, “Why would I feel anything from this?”

I won’t ever admit to anyone that there’s a small, tiny, miniscule, unknown feeling in a place near my heart. There’s something nagging at me to run after Cesa, grab her arm, and shove this necklace back to its proper place around her throat. 

**_But_ ** there are children with her, so for their benefit I will  _ not _ do anything to the Diamond that walks amongst them. The perfect, beautiful, shining Diamond that’s surrounded by two men--

“Whatever you say, Hisoka.” Illumi flicks the necklace around my wrist. “I’ll be heading out now, try not to lose your temper.”

Illumi’s hair swishes back and forth with each step he takes. I can hear the small sound of pins clicking somewhere on this body. He’ll be with Cesa again in a couple of days. I don’t care what Illumi says, I know that behind his dead, cold, lifeless eyes, that he feels something for Cesa. 

There’s a reason why I talked to him about forming a polyamorous relationship between him, Cesa, and I.

But for some reason, the idea that Illumi will be with Cesa for the next few days or even weeks, irks me.

No matter, I need to ignore this and focus on my own needs.

“No need to continue worrying about things that are out of my reach.”

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“Miss Cesa, are you sure that it’s okay for you to bring us with you?” Gon tugs at my sleeve.

I look down at the small boy and give him a reassuring smile. “It’s more than okay, Gon.”

A couple days of flying and a few hours of driving with this unlikely group of young boys has given me more than enough reason to why Killua became friends with them so quickly. All of the personalities present in this group contrast with each other perfectly.

Kurapika is a clear balance of power, knowledge, and understanding, while Leorio is impulsive, passionate, and has a fierce sense of loyalty. Gon is the glue between the two older boys with his welcoming personality and overwhelming kindness. The friendship between these unlikely persons is something I’ve wished to have for a long time.

However, working as an assassin all your life, especially when you work alongside the Zoldycks, friends are not encouraged. In fact, they’re discouraged. No wonder why Killua is so adamant about keeping Gon safe from Lumi. He’s the first friend he’s made besides me, I guess. 

“Here we are everyone! Kukuro Mountain, the home of the infamous Zoldyck family!” The woman minding the “tourist bus” shivers a bit while relaying the information. 

I stand up and motion for my three guests to follow. Once off the bus, I ignore the wide-eye stares of the tourists who think of our little group as insane for walking closer to the gargantuan gates. I give a small solute towards Zebro, the gatekeeper, who motions me closer towards his booth.

“Let them stay here a bit.” He whispers to me once I’m close enough. “Let them get a little stronger.”

I narrow my eyes, “Is this from Kil?”

“A small bit, yes, but they also need some more strength if they want to be able to get past the rest of the butlers.”

I nod, “Fair enough.” They do need a bit more muscle on them. 

“Wait, Master Ancesa,” Zebro calls.

“Mhm?” My low tone does nothing to make Zebro flinch or intimidated. “What is it?”

“I eternally thank you for being you.” He bows his head down, “For Master Killua’s sake.”

A part of me softens, “Of course. What would he be without me?”

“Very, very lonely and insane.” The old man answers.

His answer causes a small frown to make its way onto my face. He’s not wrong. If I didn’t meet Jaana all those years ago, I would’ve been in such an empty state. I saw the way he grew up. I wasn’t even allowed near him until he was two, and he’d already nearly perfected the Echo Rhythm. 

If neither Gon or I had shown up, what state would he be in right now?


End file.
